Ai no Hana

" Oniichan..."

" Oniichan wake up!"

Jesse tried to open his heavy eyes as someone shook his body, calling his name, waking him up in this early midnight summer. He tried to reach his clock on his desk but he couldn't find it as someone held his hands.

"Eh?"

"Charlotte?"

" Oniichan !"

"Happy birthday!!" Charlotte said cheerfully with her bright smile as though Jesse, his brother, could see it. Jesse had woken up forcibly after Charlotte grabbed his wrist. His lap was full of a cake, which he still couldn't recognize, with candles saying 26 on it. He heard Charlotte take a deep breath before she started singing. 

Happy birthday to you…

Happy birthday to you…

Happy birthday dear Oniichan… 

Happy birthday to you…

Her voice sounded so soft yet cheerful. Jesse clapped his hands with Charlotte when she finished her singing. Jesse had opened his eyes wide as he saw the beautiful candle had lit. He crossed his fingers and made a wish before he blew it. A soft smile etched on his lips as Charlotte circled her arms around his broad shoulders. She turned ON the lamp and Jesse could see everything clearly. It was a small round white chocolate baked cake with flower-shaped colorful whipped cream around it. There was a handwritten Happy Birthday and three cherries in the corner. It was simple yet beautiful and quite satisfying to his eyes.

"Did you bake it?" 

Charlotte nodded as she smiled softly. Knowing how hard she tried caused warmth inside his heart. Jesse knew Charlotte never baked a cake before. She can cook, indeed, but just simple cooking. Their grandma was the one who cooked for them everyday.

Jesse Lewis, the first child in their family and Charlotte Lewis, her sister, used to live with their grandparents. Their parents had passed away 7 years ago because of an airplane accident. They were on a business trip to LA and wanted to come back to Japan to celebrate Jesse's birthday.

But fate said otherwise.

It was so tough for them, especially Charlotte because she was still 9 years old at that time. Of course it was so damn difficult for Jesse too. He had been blaming himself for years because he thought everything happened because of him.

Because they wanted to celebrate his birthday. 

If he didn't ask them, they might still be here with him.

His grandma had come to pick them up and asked them to live together in their house in Osaka. They didn't have any reason to say no. It was too painful for Jesse if he kept living only with Charlotte in their house in Tokyo. Jesse, who was still fifteen, had to study harder because he had to take care of his father's company. His grandpa had been taking the role as the chairman and he needed Jesse to help him. So Jesse learned a lot from him. He went to college and graduated with a master degree in Business and Management. He had planned to go for a PhD but his grandpa asked him to be the CEO of Lewis Company. 

"Jesse, you've studied hard these years. It's time for you to become your father's successor. Come and join me."

That's why he postponed his PhD programs and joined his grandpa in their company. 

Charlotte, on the other hand, had been taken care of by her grandmother. She had been in a private school. She had been planning to go to a Science and Technology University. 

Jesse had been living alone in Tokyo since he turned 22, to make it easier for him because it's closer to Lewis Company. He felt lonely, of course. He has no one but Charlotte and his grandparents. So Jesse tried another way to wash his loneliness. 

He was in a relationship.

He had been in a relationship before, but she dumped him. 

She said that he was too busy. 

She didn't love him anymore.

A classic reason for someone who already knew who she dated.

Honestly, Jesse really did his best to give his time for her. He had spent his weekend with her, letting her plan anything that she wanted for them. Somehow they went on dates, watched movies, or just spent their time in Jesse's house. Jesse really loved her and he felt delighted to be with her. She was a sweet girl with a sweet voice and a radiant smile. She was full of kindness and caring. She has long black hair that reached her back and Jesse used to play it while they were cuddling or when she leaned on Jesse's chest while watching a movie. He had a joyful time with her.

Especially on his birthday.  

Somehow Jesse celebrated it alone. Somehow with his family in Osaka. They had celebrated in the usual way, but Jesse couldn't hide his sadness. 

He had celebrated his birthday once with his girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend. It was just two of them but the atmosphere was warm. He felt delighted to celebrate it with her, especially since his birthday was the saddest day for him because it was the same day as the death anniversary for his parents. Her existence gave him a new color in his life. It didn't mean that he didn't feel thankful to his family, but it was just more like he could share his pain with her and tried to cover the hole in his heart. 

It was so painful for him when she asked him to break up. He asked her the reasons, but when she said that he was too busy and it made her not love him anymore, he gave up. It was cruel, indeed. But maybe she wasn't for him.

So he moved on. It had been two years since the last time he celebrated his birthday with her. Since last year, Charlotte had been coming to his home to celebrate his birthday because he couldn't leave his work here.

Last year, Charlotte had prepared a small birthday party for him. She had come with their grandparents. Some of his childhood friends had also come. Jesse had a lot of fun and felt so grateful for their love.

Tonight, Charlotte had come alone in this midnight early summer. Honestly, he wasn't sure whether she had come alone or with their grandparents again. So he tried to look for them in his entire house and he found no one but Charlotte and him. He went back to sleep last night on his own bed and Charlotte in the other room. He had been living alone but he still had two bedrooms in his house. Just in case, if he had a visitor beside his family. 

*****

Jesse blinked his eyes slowly as he tried to open his eyes. He woke up after smelling something delicious coming from the kitchen. He checked his clock on his desk. It was 9 in the morning. He walked through the door and saw Charlotte had finished preparing their meals.

"Oh! You woke up. Good morning!"

"Please have a seat." Charlotte said with her cheerful tone. 

"Wait, I need to wash my face first." 

Jesse walked towards his bathroom. He took his toothbrush that hung under the mirror. As he washed his teeth, Charlotte called him. 

"Do you want tea or coffee?"

"Teaaa!!" Jesse said with his loud voice. As he finished washing his face, he walked to the kitchen and took a seat on their dining table. 

"You know I've learned a lot, so don't worry. It tastes good." Charlotte said with confidence. Jesse let out a chuckle and did what she ordered. To be honest, it was a common breakfast for him. She prepared steamed rice, a bowl of miso soup, a grilled fish as the main dish, tamagoyaki , and a small plate of pickled vegetables. Jesse slurped the miso soup and it tasted so good. His eyes were closed and he couldn't stop humming to show how yummy the miso soup was. Then he took a bite of the grilled fish and his eyes widened as he chewed the fish. The texture was soft and it blended well with the miso soup. He took a piece of tamagoyaki in one bite and took his steamed rice in a big bite. He was eating it peacefully. He didn't even realize that Charlotte hadn't taken any bite because she was busy watching him. 

"... Does it taste so good or are you just hungry?" Charlotte asked jokingly.

"..... Both, I guess." Jesse said and he laughed freely.

"Are you going back today?"

"Yup. Grandma said she wanted to go to onsen and I will come with her."

"I see… Anyway, please tell her I might come at the end of this year."

"Okaaaay~~"

They kept their focus back to their food, finishing it and cleaning the table. Jesse helped with the dishes as he let his sister take a shower first. 

His eyes caught something on his table. A pot of a plant. He had been wondering since when he bought a plant. He never did it before, or he did?

"Oh! I forgot to tell you. That was my gift for you." Charlotte said in front of her room when she finished changing her clothes.

"A plant?"

"Why?"

" Oniichan said you're lonely, right? So I bought you a plant. I can adopt a dog or a cat for you though but you're busy. Pet needs the owner to play with them. So I bought a plant. It is easier to feed and you can talk with them too."

Jesse eyebrows furrowed as his lips pursed. He felt thankful to Charlotte for her gift. But he had never grown a plant before. He couldn't help but worry about what if the plant wilted because he forgot it?

"Just put it around your windows, make sure it gets sunlight and water every morning. It's easy, Oniichan ." Charlotte said as she read his mind. Jesse gave a nod and grinned as he said thank you to her.

Jesse walked his sister to the front door and bid her goodbye. He closed the door and went back to the kitchen to take his plant. He put them in his living area, close to his window, then he watered it.

"Eat well, grow well..." Jesse said before he walked to the bathroom and got ready to go to work.

It has been a month since Charlotte gave this plant to him.

It has been a week since the last time he watered it. 

Last week was so hectic for Jesse. He had flown to LA and London to attend important meetings. He just arrived in Japan yesterday and he didn't even check his entire house or clean up the pile of dust in his house. His body and his brain needed some rest. 

He just had time today. After taking more than 10 hours of sleep, he finally woke up.

More precisely, he forced himself to wake up.

It was so difficult to open his heavy eyes in the morning though. His bed gravity was too strong and caused him to stumble a few times as he tried to bring his body up. 

Jesse just realized that he didn't change his suit last night. He started remembering that after loosening his tie, he dived to his bed without even taking off his socks. 

It was around 3 in the afternoon. After taking a bath, he was unpacking his luggage and sorting every sheet of his clothes. He didn't forget to buy some gifts for his beloved people.

Jesse bought a bottle of fragrance with Orange Blossom Cologne for Charlotte because he knew that his little sister loves perfume and it would fit her perfectly if Jesse remembered how bright she is as a person. He bought hampers of The Afternoon Tea Collection for her grandma because she is a tea-lover. Meanwhile, for his grandpa, he only bought him a set of Lewis Chessmen Chess.

No, no. He didn't buy it because there was Lewis on it. He didn't. He just simply bought it because his grandpa loves an old-stuff and he loves playing chess. 

Jesse bought all of them in London because he never wanted to be in LA too long. It is such a crucial place for him. He wished he would never visit that place again but he knew it's impossible. 

He also bought a pack of small handmade gifts to give to the employees later. 

As he finished sorting his luggage, Jesse walked out of his room, turned on the music of his favorite playlist, and started cleaning up. He vacuumed the living room. Thankfully his current house is not a big one and he didn't have much furniture in his living room. Just a fluffy sofa, a small cabinet to put his books, DVDs, and a TV above it even though he barely turned it ON. So it didn't take a lot of time to clean it. Once he finished cleaning the living area, he moved to the kitchen. There was more dust there since it was in the corner. The rotten food in the fridge also needed to be thrown before the smells came out. He also cleaned the three cabinets above the sink before more dust came. As he wiped the glass of the cabinet, he could hear a growl of his stomach. If Jesse remembered, he hadn't eaten anything since this morning. He was too caught up with cleaning up, he didn't even feel hungry at all. He wanted to make something but he hadn't cleaned the bedrooms yet. He moved to his own room and vacuumed it quickly. He placed the vacuum cleaner back to its place as he skipped to clean the other room because no one would use it. Charlotte was still busy with school and preparing for her exams. He didn't think she would come this month.

Jesse went back to the kitchen to make a couple of sandwiches. He wanted to eat curry but his stomach had growled so loud. He didn't have time to make it. He could just walk to go to the market but it's not closer to his house. So he decided to make sandwiches instead. 

Jesse took a couple of eggs and a beef inside the fridge and started cooking them. He also started making tea. Jesse loves tea. His grandma used to serve him with tea when they lived together and he loved the taste. It brought him a calm and peaceful mind. As he finished making his sandwiches, he walked to the sofa. A big and fluffy sofa. He fed himself peacefully, enjoying every bite of the sandwich. As he chewed the beef, his mind was going somewhere else. He felt like there was something he forgot. He looked around to check if there was something he missed besides cleaning the visitor room. But he didn't find anything. He made sure that he finished everything.

"What did I miss?" Jesse mumbled to no one but himself. He looked at the window and spotted something that surprised him.

He forgot about the plant.

Jesse just simply forgot about it.

He swallowed the sandwich and drank his tea to wash it from his throat. He walked towards the plant and worries increased in his body.

"What should I do… " 

Jesse never grew a plant before. Little did he know about it. Charlotte only told him to watered it and made sure it got enough sunlight. He forgot to do more research about it.

More importantly, it was Charlotte's gift. He always treasured every single thing that Charlotte gave to him. But this plant, he really forgot it. He didn't even ask the name of this plant so he had no idea to replace it with a new one. He could only stare blankly at his dead plant as he leaned his head on his palm and let out a long sigh.

He needed to buy a new one.

*****

After washing his dishes, Jesse spent around 2 hours on his desk completing the work that was piling up. It was around 5 o'clock in the afternoon and he still had a lot of time before the end of the day. He busied himself with another thing, which was looking for the same flower as his dead plant on the internet. He had tried so many keywords to find it but still nothing. Probably because his brain wasn't functioning well, he forgot that he could try to look in Google Image instead of words. However, he found something that caught his eyes. 

He clicked the image and it directed him to a website of a flower shop. A new flower shop that just opened a couple weeks ago. He looked at the address and it was close enough from his house. Jesse could even walk there. He didn't need more time to think. He had changed his clothes, took his hat, then went out to buy a new plant. 

It took around 15 minutes for Jesse to arrive at the shop. A smile etched on his lips as he saw a pink blossom board hanging with floral ornaments at both corners and written La Vie En Rose in the center. It looked prettier than what he had seen earlier. The shop was not big, but it was decorated well. As he stepped inside, Jesse felt like he just entered a magical garden. The ambiance was exuding elegance, sophistication, and beauty. He also smelled some scents that brought him a peaceful and relaxing mind. He couldn't help but look around the shop with sparkling eyes. Jesse had no idea about flowers, but he found the beauty in them. 

He was looking around to see the flowers but then someone caught his eyes.

There was a man sitting on the desk with flowers around him. Jesse could only see his back. He wore a white t-shirt and a black denim dungaree as an outer. 

Jesse took off his hat and walked closer to him. 

"Excuse me…" Jesse asked politely.

But the man didn't move. Maybe Jesse's voice was too soft. He cleared his throat, slightly bent to make him closer and tried again.

"... Ummm, Excuse me…" 

But still, he didn't get any answers. Jesse bit his lower lips as he thought about something. 

Was it okay if he patted his shoulder gently?

As Jesse tried to reach the man's shoulder, he saw him move from his seat. He was turned around and startled by Jesse's existence who was slightly bent behind him. The man stumbled and before he fell, Jesse managed to catch him on his back and brought him closer to his face. He was so close as he could feel his hair on his lips and smell its scent. 

It smelled like a peach blossom. It was sweet like honey and almond.

The man raised his head and caused them to lock their eyes unintentionally. It was just a few seconds but Jesse captured him with his eyes so well.

The man has long eyelashes, a small nose and small lips. He even has a pretty philtrum. His skin looked so smooth. Jesse could say it was ethereal. 

He looked so beautiful… 

He looked even more beautiful than the flowers around him. 

Jesse almost forgot how to breathe.

He couldn't hear anything but his pounding heart. It was so loud and he started worrying that the man might hear it. 

He pushed Jesse from him and bowed to him as an apology. He was going to leave Jesse but then he came back. His lips widened as he realized something. He signaled Jesse to wait for him as he walked inside the small room behind him. 

Jesse blinked as he was stunned to speak. He didn't move at all until the man came with a tablet hanging on his neck and a phone in his hand. He showed something on his tablet.

Welcome to La Vie En Rose.

A world where the flowers bloom.

He swiped the screen. 

Is there anything I can help you with?

He swiped it again.

I'm a deaf, so I'm using it as our translator. It might be a bit troublesome, but I'm so good at flowers. Don't hesitate to ask me anything. 

He gave a radiant smile to Jesse.

Once again, Jesse was stunned to speak. It took a few minutes for him to realize that the man was waiting for his answer. Jesse stuttered before he could tell what he needed.

"Umm… I'm looking for this kind of plant. I… I don't know the name of it though, I... only have a picture of it."

The man checked his phone, then he nodded. Jesse showed him a pic of his dead plant. It took a few seconds for him to get what Jesse wanted.

He guided Jesse to the corner of the shop and showed him the plant that he asked for.

It was the same as Charlotte gave to him.

"C-can I grow this one?" Jesse asked. 

The man checked on his phone again and nodded. But before that, he typed something long on his tablet. He showed it to Jesse. He let Jesse read it as he made a thin line on his lips. 

Yes, you can grow it if you want. But it would be more difficult in this season because this one needed more special care to survive in summer.

"Aaaaah… " Jesse nodded as he understood the problem. Charlotte didn't tell him about it. He doubted she knew about it. Jesse even started to think that she probably picked a random plant as a gift for him. 

"Do you... have any recommendations... for me?I-... I'm a beginner." Jesse asked him shyly. He knew so well that he had no idea about plants, but he wanted to try it.

…… Jesse probably just wanted to talk to him longer.

The man nodded and guided Jesse to the opposite side. This corner seemed designed for a beginner like him. There were various small plants on the shelf. Jesse looked at them one by one. Honestly, he couldn't even be concrete at all. His heart still beat faster and he could feel his neck had turned so red. He took a glance at the man whenever he could. The man had stopped his step and waved at Jesse as he pointed a small pot of a green plant in front of him.

Jesse read the plant's name and turned his face to the man beside him.

I think Jade is the best for you if you want to try to grow a plant in summer. 

Jesse's lips pursed a bit as he waited for another word from him.

Jade is a relatively hands-off plant. Just make sure it has bright, indirect light, and well draining-soil. Water it more frequently in spring and summer.

Jesse gave a small nod. He looked at the man who was typing again on his tablet.

But make sure the soil is never soggy.

Jesse nodded again. The man gave him a bright smile that made Jesse's heart beat faster again. He would take this plant but before that, he had to make sure that he knew it clearly. So he asked the man again as he tried to buy some time.

"Ummm, ho-how many times should I water it?"

Damn. Jesse cursed himself inside because he couldn't stop stuttering. 

The man read his phone again then looked into Jesse. He typed something on his tablet again. 

Usually it's once every 2 or 3 weeks. But it would be better if you check it regularly. 

Jesse's lips pursed and gave a small nod. He told him that he would take it. He asked Jesse to wait as he prepared a box to put the plant on it. Jesse chose to take a seat kinda far from him. He needed to calm his heart.

He needed to calm his pounding heart, but at the same time, he couldn't keep himself from looking at him.

Even the way he packed the plant on the box while smiling was so beautiful. 

"Can you stop… pounding hard like this… " Jesse mumbled to himself as he punched his chest gently. He looked at the man again. The man raised his head as if he could feel that someone looked at him. He gave a nod as he signaled that he had finished. Jesse stood up and followed him to the cashier to pay it. 

Jesse saw him write something on a note and handed it to him with the box of his plant. It was a simple note of how to grow a Jade. Jesse thought that maybe the man wanted him to remember this. He read the two last sentences at the bottom of the paper.

Please come again later. Thank you!

"Could you please write your name on it too?" Jesse wanted to ask that but he kept it. He didn't have the guts to ask. Not for now. 

The man bid him goodbye and smiled brightly at him. The brightest smile he ever seen in his life. Jesse nodded and walked slowly out the shop.

Jesse stopped his step and looked at the man for the last time. He saw him waving slowly at him.

He waved at him while smiling.

He looked so cute…

He looked so damn cute and Jesse couldn't hide his cheeks that started getting pink. 

He turned his face and walked away from the shop with a pounding heart. It was getting louder than before. Jesse couldn't stop smiling as he tried to take a deep breath.

He had made sure that he would come again sooner. 

He had promised to himself that he would get his name.The name of the owner of the most beautiful smile that he just saw a few minutes ago.

Jesse had finished his lunch box on his sofa. It had been thirty minutes but he still hadn't moved from his seat. He crossed his legs and leaned his back on the sofa. He closed his eyes as his mind was going somewhere. He almost fell asleep but someone interrupted him by knocking on his door. 

"Mr. Lewis?" Juri walked in his room. 

"These are some new documents that need your signature, Sir." He placed a pile of paper on Jesse's desk and bowed as he took a permit to leave Jesse's room. Jesse opened his eyes and walked towards his desk. He took a seat and started to check the document. He read the pages carefully while twirling the pen in his hand. He didn't know how long he spent reading one document as he heard Juri had opened his door again and walked towards him. 

"These are some new proposals that need your review, Sir." He placed the new pile paper beside the papers that he just placed earlier. He bowed again and took a permit as he walked out. Jesse couldn't say anything as he saw there were 2 piled up documents on his desk. He looked at the document that he had been reading and realized that he had reached the last page. He was going to give his signature but then he realized something.

He didn't even know what the document was about. 

He clearly read it, he knew it. But he didn't remember anything at all.

He lost his concentration while checking the document as his mind was still going somewhere. Jesse let out a long sigh. He leaned on his seat, closing his eyes and placing his arm on his forehead.

He sighed again and placed his jaw on his hand. Jesse felt like he wanted to empty his lungs from the misty air as he let out a long and deep sigh again, again, and again. He didn't know how long he had been doing it until he heard Juri asked him, "Why do you keep sighing?" Jesse raised his head and found Juri was sitting on the sofa.

"How long have you been here?" Jesse asked as his eyebrows furrowed. He got too caught up with his own thoughts. He didn't even realize Juri's existence in his room.

"Since 30 minutes ago. I brought you some documents." Juri said as he pointed a pile of documents in front of Jesse. He realized that there were 3 piles of documents on his desk that needed to be checked. 

"Anyway, is this a new bouquet? Don't you think you have been buying too much? You didn't even give it to anyone." Juri said as he screened the room and found many bouquets placed around. "This is the… 7th? 8th… flower bouquet that you bought in the past two weeks." Juri continued. Jesse let out a long sigh again this time. 

"Why do you keep sighing?" Juri asked him again. "It's so rare to see you like that. Do you have something bothering you?" Juri continued. Jesse didn't give him any answer. He buried his face in his palm, ignoring Juri's voice that kept calling him.

"Jesse?"

"Jesse… ?"

"Jes-..." Jesse let out a deep sigh before Juri could continue his words.

"I-... Am I bothering you?" Juri said as he placed his hand on his chest, eyes widening in surprise. Jesse let out a whine instead of giving Juri any answer. He leaned back on his seat and let his hands hang down. 

"Fine, I'm leaving!" Juri said as he stood up from his seat. He was going to walk out but his steps had stopped as Jesse finally let his words out. 

"Hey, Juri… " He said. He looked at Juri lazily. "How do you ask someone's name?" He looked at Juri who stared at him in astonishment. 

"...... D-did you….. Did you just ask me how to ask someone's name?" Juri repeated Jesse's question. Jesse only nodded slowly. He knew Juri would give this reaction. He knew Juri might laugh at him because Juri knew how Jesse managed to deal with people especially when he became a CEO. Juri was Jesse's old friend. They had known each other in highschool. Jesse met him again accidentally when his grandpa helped him to find some candidates to be his secretary. That was also the reason he didn't need much time to decide who he wanted to be his right hand. They had been working together for years and knew each other so well. Of course Juri would laugh at him for his question.

"Jesse Lewis doesn't know how to ask someone's name?" Juri let out a chuckle. Jesse glared at him before he let out his words, "Are you making fun of me?" He asked, his body had straightened on his seat. Juri pursed his lips a bit and averted his eyes from Jesse. "If you don't want to help, then go out." Jesse continued before he placed his elbow on his desk, he leaned his head on his palm as if it could bear his thoughts. 

"I'm sorry." Juri said quietly. There was a silence between them before Juri continued his words, "Who do you want to ask anyway? Is it a stranger woman that you met on the street? Or a woman that you met randomly in a restaurant? Or a woman in a coffee shop? Or a baked shop? Or som….— " Jesse didn't hear the rest of Juri's questions as he sighed again. He felt tired and started massaging his temples. He sighed again before he cut Juri by his own words, "It's someone… you don't know." Jesse said as he saw Juri still didn't move from his seat.

"Aaaaah…" Juri said before he walked towards Jesse and took a seat in front of him.

"Who is it?" Juri asked in curiosity. He grinned and placed his jaw in his palm with his elbows resting on the desk.

"You don't have to know… " Jesse said quietly. 

"Oh come on!!" Juri leaned on his seat, showing his disappointment after hearing Jesse's answer. 

"Why do you have to know?" Jesse asked as he felt irritated. 

"Because I'm curious." Juri said casually. Jesse wanted to tell him about it, but he didn't know how to say it. His mind was complicated with his own thoughts about how to get your name as your name was referring to the same person that he had been thinking about in the last 2 months.

"Are you free after this?" Jesse asked directly.

"Yep. What? You want to go out with me?" Juri teased him as he raised his eyebrow, giving Jesse goosebumps.

"Help me to get the name." Jesse said. He felt desperate and he needed Juri to help him as he knew how good Juri could be with this thing.

***** 

"Where are we going?"

Jesse let out a long sigh. It had been the 7th time Juri asked the same question to him. He hadn't told Juri where they would go because he didn't know how to explain it to Juri, so he would just let him figure it out by himself.

"Here." Jesse said as he asked Juri to pull over. Juri parked Jesse's car on the side of the road. They took off the belt and got out of the car. They were still in office suits as Jesse didn't want to change because they just finished their work late. He was worried that the shop might be closed soon.

Jesse walked in a big step and left Juri behind him who tried to chase him by running. They had stopped their steps as they had arrived in front of the flower shop. The same flower shop that he had been visiting for the past 2 weeks. He left Juri behind who was whining as he realized that they would buy another bouquet. It was amazing for Jesse who had been visiting this place many times, but it was still giving him the same feeling as the first time he came. La Vie En Rose is really like a magical garden. He didn't mind to fill his lungs with the elegance and sweet of the flower scents. He wouldn't feel tired with the beauty of flowers around him that satisfy his eyes.

Especially the beauty of the florist… 

He looked so beautiful as always. Jesse didn't know how someone could look beautiful every day. He even felt the florist looked more beautiful today. He wore a cream t-shirt and an olive dungaree. It was kinda funny how he always wore dungaree whenever Jesse came.  Jesse saw him taking a seat and sighed. Seemed like he just finished cleaning some trash that scattered around. 

"He looks tired… " Jesse murmured.

"Hmm?" Juri asked him, making Jesse realize that he had been watching the man too deep.

"Nothing…"

"Let's go." He walked first before Juri without looking how confused Juri was. They walked closer towards the man who was resting his head on his palm. Jesse felt guilty for bothering him, but he couldn't help it. Jesse waved at him and smiled softly.

Jesse was right. He looked tired but he kept smiling at him. He bowed and took a permit to go back and came back with a tablet and a phone in his hands. He greeted Jesse in the same way as he used to.

Welcome back!

Is there anything I can help you with?

 

He smiled at them. Jesse had been seeing the same smile many times. The same smile that kept perching on his mind. But it never failed to pound his heart. Jesse had been visiting this place many times. He had been talking to him many times, but he still couldn't stop stuttering. Juri realized there was something different about Jesse. He kept glancing at him and smirked when he saw him stuttering.

"What?" Jesse asked Juri as the man prepared to make a bouquet. Juri kept grinning for a moment before he let out his words, "Your neck is getting red." Juri said as he smirked. Jesse could feel his face getting warm. He cleaned his throat, "Can you help me?"

"What will I get?" Juri asked. He felt his lips were drying because he smiled a lot. He couldn't help it but teasing his best friend was one of his favorite things. 

Jesse took a deep breath before making a deal with Juri.

"I will let you use my game for a week."

"Deal!" Juri said without any hesitation. They saw the man had finished making a bouquet. He looked at Jesse and gave him a smile as he nodded, signaling to follow him towards the front desk.

Do you need a card? 

The man asked Jesse who was stunned in front of him. He was going to say his words but Juri already gave an answer to him.

"No, he doesn't need it. It's for me." Juri said casually, but he didn't know how surprised and pissed off Jesse was after hearing his answer, making him cursed under his breath. The man only nodded and smiled at them. He handed Juri the bouquet and bowed gently as Juri paid for it. Juri talked casually to the man as if Jesse couldn't hear it.

Well, he couldn't hear it because his pounding heart was too loud. He felt sweat rushing down his back. He wasn't ready for this. He was scared to see the man's reaction when Juri asked his name. Jesse wanted to run away but he couldn't even move his foot. He felt his heart had stopped as he heard Juri let out a question.

"Anyway, what's your name?" Juri asked. Jesse saw the man smiled and introduced himself to them using sign language. 

"Kyo… Kyou?" Juri asked as if he could read Jesse's mind. The man smiled and started writing on his tablet. 

Kyomoto Taiga

"Aaaaah. Kyomoto Taiga." Juri continued. The man gave a nod and a radiant smile. 

Beautiful…

Even his name is beautiful...

The name is as beautiful as its owner. Jesse made a thin line on his lips as he held his smile. He tried to hide his happiness even though he could feel his ears getting red. He managed to hide his smile but he couldn't stop glancing at him. As their eyes met for a few seconds and the man smiled sweetly, Jesse thought he was going to explode. He was going to walk outside but Juri had stopped him by his words. 

"May I get your number?" Jesse's eyes widened, he turned his face to Juri who kept grinning. He continued his words, "My friend doesn't have the guts to ask you."

Jesse felt like his face had dropped. Why did Juri ask him for his number? Jesse didn't ask him to do it. Of course he felt happy if he could get it, but it was so embarrassing. 

"Damn you, Juri." He cursed under his teeth. Jesse wasn't sure whether Juri heard it or not but he glared at him. Jesse swallowed hard. He was too embarrassed, he didn't want to know how the man looked at him. He really wanted to run away, but he couldn't even move his body. And the next thing he knew was Juri holding a note with a number on it. 

"Thank you, Kyomoto." Juri said as he smiled. He bowed and walked away, leaving Jesse alone with the man. He looked at Jesse with his wide eyes and a thin line on his lips.

"I... Ummm... I-... Wh-... " Jesse swallowed his nerves. He didn't know what to say. His brain was too blurry and made him stutter. It had always been like this. He had been always stuttering whenever he talked to him. Jesse had lowered his face and scratched the back of his neck as he bit his bottom lip. He was too busy cursing himself under his breath, he didn't realize that the man was chuckling at him. Jesse raised his head and saw him covering his mouth. Jesse felt more embarrassed, but he felt warm at the same time. He was pleased to see the man laugh at him. 

"Umm… I-... I'm sorry." Jesse said after he calmed himself. The man shook his head and gave him a beaming smile. Jesse swore his heart was going to explode for real. He took a deep breath and continued his words, "I-... I wanted to ask you directly, but I wasn't sure how to do that." Jesse saw the man look at his phone, then shook his head again. He moved his hand from the right to the left on his chest as he said something. Jesse read his mouth and assumed that he was saying that it was fine. Jesse could only smile shyly as he saw the man kept raising his cheeks. 

"Umm… Nice to meet you, Kyomoto… " Jesse said as he scratched his own temple. The man nodded and smiled again. Jesse bid him goodbye and walked out. He didn't forget his habit to turn his face, looking at him who kept smiling and waved his hands cutely. Jesse bit his lower lips and stepped outside. As he walked, he punched his own chest gently many times because it didn't stop beating hard. He really thought his heart was going to jump out.

"Oh! Here he is~" Juri said as he saw Jesse in front of the alley. 

"Damn you!" Jesse cursed him again before he entered the car.

"What did I do?" Juri acted innocently.

"Why did you embarrass me?" Jesse almost raised his voice. Juri really pissed him off for saying that silly thing. 

"But you like it, don't you?" Juri teased him. Jesse didn't give any answer as he turned his face, averted Juri's gaze.

"Give me the number and I will give you the deal." He said quietly. He could hear Juri giggling next to him. "Yes, Sir." He said before drove away to drop Jess off. 

*****

Jesse had taken a shower and changed his clothes into pajamas. It was still around 9 in the evening but he had decided to sleep early tonight. Dealing with Juri was tiring. He didn't even have the energy to make dinner for himself. So he only took a piece of banana and water. He ate it lazily as he closed his eyes, his mind was traveling somewhere. A thin smile etched on his lips as he recalled a sweet memory that happened this afternoon. He still couldn't believe that he had known his name. Not only his name, but also his number. He blamed Juri for embarrassing him, but he couldn't deny that he felt thankful for him for helping him.

As Jesse finished his dinner. He washed the glass and walked back into his room. He took his phone and laid his back on his bed. He looked at his contact and focused his eyes on a name.

"Kyomoto Taiga." He mumbled. He opened his LINE to check Taiga's name on his contact list, but he didn't find it.

"Hm? He doesn't use LINE?" Jesse said as he pursed his lips. He felt it was weird if someone didn't use it, even his grandma had been using it. But Jesse thought maybe Taiga had his own reasons for not using it. He opened his messenger and started typing.

"Hi, Kyomoto…"

Jesse shook his head and deleted it. He started typing again.

"Good night, Kyomoto :)" 

Jesse shook his head again and deleted it. He closed his eyes and placed his arm on his forehead. 

Why did he become like this?

Why did it feel difficult for him to send a message?

He could have just introduced himself as usual, but why did he have to think so hard?

He looked at the clock on his desk and found that he had been doing it for 15 minutes. It was 9.34 at night. Jesse let out a long sigh. He clenched his hand into a first and took a deep breath. He started typing on the flat screen.

"Kyomoto, this is Jesse. I'm one of your regular customers. We met this afternoon with my friend who asked for your number. I'm sorry if we made you uncomfortable. I hope we can be friends."

Jesse had let out a sigh again and sent his message. He couldn't help but keep reading his text as if he made any mistake.

"Why did I sound weird?" He mumbled. He ruffled his hair as he whined. He didn't want to wait for any answer. He didn't want to think about it. He placed his phone on his desk and turned off his lamp. He turned his back on the other side and decided to sleep, hoping to get good news tomorrow morning.

*****

"Why are you pouting?" Juri asked him after he finished his 5th round of the game that he had been playing since this morning. It was around 8 a.m on Saturday and Juri had knocked on his door, waking him up from his sleep. He lazily opened his door for Juri, but he had to stop him from entering his house. Jesse was going to complain about it but he saw Juri came along with a big hand of food, so he let him in. 

As Jesse washed his face, Juri called him and served him with two pieces fresh baked bread with a garlic souce and salad. He also served him with a glass of tea. 

"Please have a seat, Sir." Juri said as he smiled.

"You don't have to act formal like that, you know?" Jesse said casually. It was Jesse himself who told Juri not to be formal outside of work. Even though somehow Juri broke the rules by being informal when they were still at work, but Jesse didn't mind it. But it would be different if he acted formally outside of work, it could mean that Juri wanted something from him. 

"What do you want?" Jesse acted directly, eyes on Juri who kept grinning at him. Juri cleared his throat before saying his words, "Please let me stay here for 2 days." Jesse glared at him as he thought about something. Honestly he didn't mind if Juri wanted to stay with him, but he wanted to take advantage from him too.

"Okay, but you have to serve meals for me."

Juri's jaw hung for a few seconds as he looked at Jesse in disbelief. But in the end, he agreed. 

They had finished the breakfast and cleaned the kitchen. Juri had already sat in the living room, preparing the game that he wanted to play, meanwhile Jesse was going back to his room. He took his phone to check whether there was a good news or not.

As he clicked the flat screen, he saw nothing on his notification bar. He let out a sigh and put his phone back to his desk as he walked into his bathroom. He let the warm water poured his body and washed away his gloomy thoughts. He managed to sleep peacefully last night as he dreamt about he got a reply from Taiga. But apparently it was just a dream.

Jesse walked outside his bathroom, opening his wardrobe, picking a white t-shirt and a short pants for him. He didn't know why did he pick white t-shirt though.

Nah, he knew it. He picked it because it reminded him to Taiga.

He went out his room and greeted Juri who was too busy with his game. He sat behind him while watching him. Somehow he checked his phone to see whether he got a new message or not. But he got nothing. There was no messages. 

He placed his phone beside him and sighed. Juri heard it and turned his face to him.

"Why are you pouting?" He asked. Jesse didn't give any answer as he pouted and scratched his fingers. 

"He doesn't reply… " He said quietly. Juri didn't even hear him as he asked again. But Jesse chose to ignore him. He stood up and walked over to his plant. He touched the leaf of the Jade as he mumbled something.

"Shall I ask him?"

A summer breeze suddenly come through his window, making his plant moved as if it nodded slowly. Jesse smiled and walked back to his room to take his hat. He didn't change his clothes because it was still summer and the place wasn't far from his house. 

"Juri, I'll go." He said in front of his front door, he opened it and went out, ignoring Juri who kept calling his name.

"Wish me luck… "

*****

As he arrived at La Vien En Rose , he looked around to find someone he needed. But he wasn't there. Taiga wasn't there. The shop had opened but no one was there. Jesse took off his hat and took a seat in the center as he waited for him to come.

Jesse lowered his head and pouted. It had been 30 minutes but he didn't see him at all. He was giving up and wanted to leave. But then someone offered him a cup of coffee. He raised his head and saw him standing in front of him.

With a damp hair and his glowing skin, he greeted Jesse and smiled brightly at him.

Welcome back!

The sunlight that radiated through the window in front of him made him look more beautiful.

Jesse almost forgot how to breath. 

He stood up and saw the man was standing right in front of him.

He looked gorgeous… 

Jesse had to keep himself not to land a kiss on him even though he knew it was so damn difficult. He shook his head and punch his thigh. How dare he thought something like this? 

He saw the man raised his index finger and shook it while giving a curious face. Jesse shook his head and told him it was fine. He offered Jesse a cup of coffee in his hand. Jesse bowed a bit and took it even though he didn't drink coffee. 

Is there anything you need?

"Yes… " Jesse said under his breath.

"Ummmm, I… I want to grow a flower." He said. He saw Taiga looked kinda surprised knowing it. He smiled and guided Jesse to the left corner of the shop. He introduced him some flowers that easy to handle in Summer. Even though this season would be over soon, but these flowers would bloom in the next season. Jesse nodded slowly after reading what Taiga wrote on his tablet.

He was reading it, but he didn't remember it. He was too nervous and his mind kept repeating the same question that he wanted to ask. He wanted to shout it out.

So, is there anything that caught your eyes?

Taiga asked through his tablet.

"You… " Jesse said quietly. Apparently Taiga saw him but he didn't get the word, which Jesse felt so thankful for. He cleared his throat, "Umm, this one." He said as he pointed to an Agapanthus in the upper shelf. He saw Taiga stroked his own chest gently and nodded slowly and said his words by using sign. 

I understand.

Please wait here as I pack this for you.

Jesse waited for him in the same seat as before. He watched him carefully, packaging his flower and placed a note inside the box. It seemed like he put a reminder like he used to before. Jesse lowered his head, clenched his hand into a fist and bit his lower lips. He had to ask him now. He didn't want to go back home with the same feeling as when he went outside. He didn't want to.

He raised his head and saw the man signaled that he had done. Jesse stood up and walked closer to him. Jesse took the flower after paying for it. He saw Taiga smiled and bid him goodbye as usual. But Jesse had stopped him.

"Ummmm, Kyomoto-san… " Jesse called his name. Taiga raised his index finger and shook it again as he asked what to him. Jesse pushed his lips together before letting out his words, "Did… did you… Did you get my message?". Taiga looked into his phone and looked surprised.

Jesse lowered his head and continued, "I… texted you last night… " Jesse said shyly. "I couldn't find your name on LINE, I thought you weren't using it. So I texted you by message. But I still don't get any answer, I wonder whether you had read it and forgotten it or you just ignored it. I-... Or you feel like I…." Jesse had stopped his words after he saw Taiga's hand waved under his face. He raised his head and saw Taiga apologizing.

"Eh?" He saw Taiga hit the table with his palm a few times, and opened his palm as if he asked Jesse to give him something. But Jesse didn't get it. And then Taiga signaled a phone using his hand, "Ah, my phone?" Jesse asked and Taiga nodded at him. Jesse handed him his own phone and waited for him. He looked like he was scanning something on Jesse's phone, and then he gave it back to Jesse. 

Jesse, who had been confused, was now surprised when he saw Taiga's name had appeared on the notification bar. He clicked it and opened the text that came on his LINE.

I'm sorry… 

I didn't mean to make you feel like that.

I didn't give my real number to your friend… 

Jesse looked at him with his wide eyes. 

It wasn't my number. I don't even know if the number was available or not. That's why you couldn't find me on your LINE contact… 

Jesse raised his head and saw Taiga pushed his lips together. Jesse could say Taiga was being honest by seeing his eyes. There was guilt inside it. Jesse didn't mind it though. He felt grateful instead because it meant that Taiga didn't ignore him. But he wanted to know why he gave the wrong number to Juri. So he asked him by texting. 

Your friend looked like he was flirting with me. I don't like it.

So I gave him the wrong number.

I did think he was just using you as the reason. I didn't expect that you were really texting me… 

I'm so sorry… 

Jesse couldn't hide his laughter. He found it was so funny when he heard that Juri was the reason Taiga gave him the wrong number. It was the first time he heard someone thought Juri looked like a playboy who loved flirting. 

Jesse shook his head and started typing again on his phone.

That's fine!

I'm happy to know that you didn't ignore me, hehe.

Jesse looked at Taiga who smiled shyly at him. He saw him saying thank you and bowed again. There was a silence between them as Jesse thought about something. He had been gone this far, so he would ask Taiga again.

Are you free tonight?

Jesse looked at Taiga shyly as he waited for his answer.

I guess so. Why?

Jesse bit his lower lips and started typing again.

Do you want to go with me? 

Jesse raised his head and saw Taiga looked surprised at him. He asked him directly where they would go and Jesse answered him by moving his hand, signaling that they would go for dinner. It looked like Taiga was hesitant about it, but then he nodded. Jesse couldn't hide his happiness as he grinned at him. 

Okay, I will pick you up tonight.

He looked at Taiga and saw him nodding and smiled at him

Jesse felt like happiness had been flooded inside him. He bid him goodbye and waved at him until he walked out of the shop. He couldn't stop smiling, his heart beating so fast, and his face was getting red. He couldn't wait until tonight. He had to make sure that he would dress well and brought Taiga to the best restaurant he ever knew. 

Juri had been playing his game for hours. He didn't even move from his seat. He didn't want to move until he realized that his cup was empty. He paused his game and walked to the kitchen to make tea. He still wanted to drink coffee, but Jesse didn't have it. Juri was too lazy to go outside to buy it. So he preferred to make tea. He asked Jesse whether he wanted it or not. But Jesse didn't answer when Juri called him. If Juri wasn't wrong, he saw Jesse had come back from outside and went to his own room, but Juri hadn't seen him after that. He placed the tea spoon beside its plate and walked towards Jesse's room.

"Jes?" Juri knocked on his door, but he didn't get any answer. "I will come in, okay?" Juri said as he pushed the door. He thought Jesse was sleeping, but no. He was just standing in front of his wardrobe. Juri's mouth slightly opened as he saw a lot of clothes lined up on Jesse's bed. He might almost emptied his wardrobe. Juri blinked as he realized that he was speechless.

"Jes, are you going to move?" Juri asked softly as he placed his hand on Jesse's arm. Jesse looked at Juri, his eyebrows furrowed before he snapped Juri with his words. "What?! No!! Why would I move?!"

"Then why do you put your clothes here?" Juri asked because he was confused with it. He never seen Jesse like this before—except when he had business trip. But Juri remembered that Jesse didn't have any schedule to go out of city this weekend. Why did he take out all of his clothes?

Juri recalled his memories since yesterday. He remembered how Jesse looked nervous when he met the florist. He remembered that he asked him to get his number. He remembered that he had waited him for a few minutes because Jesse didn't leave the shop after him. He remembered how Jesse looked gloomy this morning. Then he went out, and came back with a brighter mood. Juri was busy with his game, indeed. But he could recognize how his friend's mood had changed.

Something might happened.

Juri smirked as something crossed his mind.

"Are you going on a date?" He asked as he brought his face closer to Jesse. He saw how his friend got nervous again. "Ah! Your neck is getting red again." Juri teased him as he pointed to his neck. Jesse couldn't move his body. He hated how Juri knew him so well. He cleared his throat and turned his body towards Juri who was grinning.

"Help me dress up." He said firmly. He could see how wide Juri's smile was after hearing his words. Juri looked so annoying but Jesse could only relay on him.

"Alright! Let's take a shower!"

***

"Why are you helping dry my hair… " Jesse said in a resigned tone. Juri didn't give any response. Probably he didn't hear it. Jesse tried to stop him by reaching the dryer but Juri had stopped him by slapping his hand. "Just let me do this for you!" He said firmly. Jesse sighed as he gave up. He did ask Juri to help him, but this was not what he meant.

Juri helped Jesse choose the clothes he wanted. He picked the expensive and glamorous clothes with a lot of glitter spread on its clothes. Juri even helped him to style his hair and pulled his bangs back by applying some gel. He made Jesse look so damn good. Juri was satisfied with this. He felt he had found a new talent. He sprayed one of Jesse's expensive perfumes for the last touch. 

"Done!" Juri grabbed Jesse's broad shoulders and looked satisfied. Jesse looked at himself in the mirror. He saw how good he was but he really thought it was too much.

It was too much for someone who would go to their first dat—dinner. Also, Jesse had told himself that he would take Taiga to the best restaurant he ever knew. But honestly, Jesse had no idea where he wanted to go. He was clueless. The clock on his desk showed 6pm. He had been doing this for hours, yet he wasn't satisfied with it. Jesse looked at himself in despair. 

"What? You don't like it?" Juri asked as he recognized Jesse's face. Jesse sighed and shook his head. "Thank you, Juri… " He forced a smile at him. But Juri knew it. He knew that look.

"Oh c'mon, Jes. Tell the truth." Juri said as he crossed his arms.

"Where will you take him?" He continued. Jesse pouted and gave him a look of a lost puppy. He shook his head and brought his body to sit on his bed. "I think it was too much, Juri. I don't even know where I want to take him." Jesse lowered his head and scratched his fingers. He heard Juri let out a long sigh as if he was the one who was struggling.

"Alright!" Juri grabbed Jesse's arms and looked solemn.

"Do you really want to go with him?"

Jesse nodded slowly.

"Do you have any plans where you want to take him?"

Jesse shook his head slowly.

"Have you asked him where he wants to go?"

Jesse was in silence before he shook his head. Juri sighed again and lowered his hand. "Ask him." He said calmly. Jesse raised his eyes and looked at Juri.

There was no joke in those eyes.

Jesse formed a thin line on his lips and reached for his phone. Before he sent a quick message to Taiga, he blinked repeatedly as his lips slightly opened.

"How do I ask him?"

Juri lowered his head and sighed again. He couldn't believe that his best friend, who used to be a social-butterfly when he was working, could be like this when he was in love.

"Just… ask him… as usual… " Juri said while he put emphasis on every word. Jesse blinked repeatedly as he gathered his guts. He took a deep breath and started typing on his flat screen.

One minute.

Two minutes.

Three minutes.

Ten minutes… 

He had been waiting for more than 15 minutes alone in this room, but he still didn't get any answer. His back was full of sweat. It wasn't sweat from the summer heat. It was from his nervous. Jesse started worrying that Taiga might not want to go with him.

He had placed his phone beside him and sighed. He started taking off his clothes and walked towards his bathroom to take his shirt. As he took off his pants, he heard his phone had beeped and he ran towards his bed until he stumbled to grab his phone. His eyes widened as his lips formed a thin line to hold his excitement.

Hmmmmm... 

I think yakiniku will be good

Jesse typed quickly on his screen as his hands trembled. His heart couldn't stop pounding loud.

Okay! I will pick you up in 2 hours

Jesse ran towards Juri after he took off his pants.

"I will go to a yakiniku restaurant!!" He said as his eyes still widened. Juri could only blinked when he saw what his friend looked like. He was so damn handsome before and now he looked like a random ossan wearing an undershirt and polkadot underwear. Before Juri could respond, Jesse went back to his room and tried to find the best outfit again as Juri saw him throw every piece of clothing to the floor.

"I guess he's really in love… " Juri mumbled to no one. A thin smile etched in the corner of his lips. He wouldn't help Jesse again, he believed his best friend would figure it out by himself.

***

Jesse said that he would pick Taiga up in 2 hours. It was supposed to be at 8 for him to arrive at La Vie En Rose, but because Jesse was too nervous, he had arrived 30 minutes earlier. He had checked himself before he went outside. Since Taiga said he wanted to have yakiniku, Jesse had already got where he would take him. He knew a restaurant for yakiniku and it was not a high-class restaurant, but the taste they provide is at a high-class level. Jesse also changed his shirt with a casual—a white shirt with a floral print on its chest and a black denim pants. He kept his bangs down to make him looked softer. He didn't want to stand out, but he also wanted—at least—to look good for Taiga.

He had been waiting in front of the shop while hiding. Yes, he didn't want Taiga to find out that he had been arrived 30 minutes earlier. It would be embarrassing if Taiga thought that he looked excited for this dinner even though he really felt like this. He had no idea how many times he had been punching his chest as it didn't stop pounding loud until its sound reached his ears.

As Jesse thought his heart wouldn't pound more than this, the universe seemed want to prove that he was wrong. 

His heart almost jumped out when he saw Taiga had stood in front of the shop, holding the flowers that he was about to bring inside. It seemed like he wanted to close his shop.

They blinked while looking into each other.

Taiga broke the awkwardness between them by smiling softly at Jesse. 

God knew how hard Jesse kept himself from melting in front of this beautiful guy.

Jesse smiled, most likely he gave an idiot smile as he tried to calm himself.

"Hi…" He greeted him while waving his hand slowly.

Jesse knew Taiga said something and signaled him to go inside of the shop. He nodded and followed him like a puppy. 

Jesse took a seat closer to the cashier as Taiga said something that Jesse guessed as please wait for me here, I won't be long. Jesse nodded and smiled softly at Taiga and did what he told him to.

He waited for Taiga patiently as he looked around the shop, as though he just visited this place for the first time.

He remembered the first time he visited this place. He had no ideas about flowers, yet he dared himself to buy one to replace Charlotte's gift.

It was less than a month and he had bought two flowers.

Actually, it was just his reason to meet Taiga. But he hadn't realized that he had been into flowers, as much as he had been into the florist.

Love at the first sight.

Like what people said, it took only one second for someone to fall in love. 

He just had Taiga's number this afternoon and he would go for a dat—dinner—with him tonight.

This time!

Jesse wanted to laugh at himself. How desperate he was for Taiga's name. How desperate he was to get his number. How desperate he was waiting for his answers and it turned out that it was a wrong number. How he finally got the real one, his real number. And he would go with him in less than 30 minutes. 

As he thought about it, Jesse had his nervousness wrapped him tight.

What he wanted to talk about when he was alone with Taiga?

Nah.

How would he talk with him? Would it be just by text? 

Of course Taiga had his phone as their translator, but Jesse wanted to do something. He wanted to give an effort. He wanted to show him that he really wanted to go with him. He wanted to be close with him—even though Taiga might just think that Jesse wanted to be close with him as a friend. 

Jesse reached his phone in his side pocket and typed quickly on its screen.

Simple Sign Language

He looked for a website, a short video, anything that he could do for quick-learning sign language. There were very simple words like It's okay, How are you, What's your name, My name is… Otsukare, See you later and those similar words.

Jesse thought it was still better than nothing. So he looked at those pictures on the website, and watched those shorts videos when he couldn't understand the picture. Thankfully Jesse was a quick learner and he had strong memories, he could remember those signs before Taiga appeared in the doorway.

Jesse closed his phone quickly and put them back inside his pocket. He raised his head and saw Taiga walking towards him.

… How many times Jesse had to control himself not to melt in front of him?

Jesse used to see Taiga with his plain t-shirt and his dungaree—always with his dungaree—and tonight, for their dinner, he wore something different.

Jesse was stunned as he saw Taiga in front of him. His eyes dazzling while he smiled brightly like the sun—even though the moon had replaced its light— with his damp hair, a t-shirt with zebra pattern tucked into brown denim pants, completed with a belt on its waist and a sling bag. He also held his phone in his hands. 

Taiga looked alluring.

Jesse didn't even realize that he had been holding his breath until Taiga waved cutely at him. Jesse gazed gently at him and wet his dry lips as he took a deep breath to fill his lungs and to calm his pounding heart.

"Ready to go?" Jesse asked as he pointed towards the outside. Taiga nodded slowly and walked outside.  

They walked side by side under the moonlight, giving Jesse a romantic feeling even though it was far from being romantic. Only Jesse who thought like that, he knew that.

The summer breeze at night touched his face gently, slightly brushing his bangs off his face. But the dust suddenly came and attacked his eyes, making him rub them slowly. He had to stop before he stumbled—or kicked his own feet. He forgot to tell Taiga as he saw him walk before him, keeping his face forward without noticing that he had walked alone.

As Jesse blinked hardly to wash away the pain on his eyes, he felt someone grab his wrist and waved his finger at him, looking concerned.

Jesse had remembered this gesture.

He smiled shyly at Taiga who asked about his condition.

"It's okay," he said as he moved his hand on his chest. He saw Taiga looked kinda surprised by it, but then he smiled softly. The next thing Jesse knew was, he was being pulled in his wrist, making him bent a bit. Before he could ask why, he had found that Taiga brought his face closer to him, slightly tiptoed then pursed his lips and blew a warm breath into his eyes as if it could wash away the dust inside.

Jesse really thought his heart had jumped out.

He blinked slowly and met Taiga's dazzling eyes.

"Oh God… "

His pretty long eyelashes made Jesse want to touch it.

But of course he wouldn't do that.

He… couldn't do that.

Not now.

He raised his body slowly and averted his eyes off Taiga's. 

Jesse swallowed hard as he realized where he was looking. 

Indeed, he averted his eyes off Taiga's but only off his eyes. 

Not his face.

He accidentally looked at his lips. Taiga's lips. It was just a few seconds—every embarrassing moment with Taiga was always in a few seconds—but Jesse could tell how pink and moist it was. 

"Shit!!" 

"What did I think about?!" 

Jesse looked away from Taiga and cleared his throat. He could feel his cheeks flushed. Jesse took a glance at Taiga who was still beside him, tilting his head a bit, looking confused. Jesse forced a smile and asked him to continue their walk.

***

If he could say, Jesse wasn't sure how they arrived at this restaurant. Probably by bus or he just walked with him as though his body moved by itself. He wasn't sure. He remembered he was walking side to side with Taiga, then Taiga blew into his eyes—though Jesse really thought he was going to kiss him—and after that, he didn't know what exactly was happening. His heart was pounding too loud until he could hear it. And he couldn't stop himself from glancing at Taiga whenever he could.

"Damn... even his side profile looked damn beautiful."

As they entered the place, they were stunned as they saw how crowded the restaurant was. Jesse didn't see any empty seats even in the corner. He was worried that they might move to another place.

But he was lucky enough tonight.

Not long after that, the waiter recognized Jesse and ran inside. She came back with the manager and bowed to Jesse.

"Welcome, Mr. Lewis. We're really grateful to see you here."

Jesse smiled politely at them.

"Do you have a meeting, Sir?" He asked politely, but Jesse could sense he was kinda worried that he didn't know about his own restaurant.

"No. I'm here in my free time." Jesse smiled at them.

Jesse's business soul took his body for a moment.

"But it seems like there are no empty seats here. I guess maybe I should have come later."

"No, Sir. We would love to serve you and we will prepare your table, Sir. Are you alone, Sir?" He asked as he gave a signal to his employee to move.

"No, I'm with him." Jesse said as he looked at Taiga who stood beside him politely. Jesse almost let out his chuckle as he saw how cute Taiga looked.

"Understood. This way, Sir." He guided them to their table in the corner. As Jesse took the seat, and Taiga was opposite of him, the manager served them with a glass of water.

"Here's the menu, Sir."

Jesse took the menu and looked at it for a while, before he raised his head and looked at Taiga. He saw him keep flipping through the pages and screened the food carefully. 

"Seemed like he had decided what he wanted…" Jesse said under his breath. He had been holding his menu, but he didn't check it at all. He saw Taiga ordered some food on the first page. 

"Understood. Seems like you have a good sense of food because this is our best menu, Sir." 

Jesse saw Taiga only smiled politely as he saw them bowed. The manager moved closer to Jesse and asked for his order. 

"I would like to order like usual." Jesse said confidently. Actually he just didn't know what he wanted to eat. He couldn't think clearly since Taiga blew into his eyes. So he just ordered what he used to eat with his employees. 

The manager bowed to them and left them. Just the two of them—well they weren't alone though because the place was crowded, but yeah— Jesse looked at Taiga shyly before they smiled at each other. There was an awkward moment between them and Jesse tried to swallow it hard.

He saw Taiga had started typing on his phone. Before Jesse could wonder what it was, his phone beeped as if it could read his mind.

So, do you used to come to this place?

Jesse raised his head and saw Taiga had been waiting for his answer cutely. He formed a thin line on his lips while holding his phone.

Yup. My employees used to come here. Somehow I joined them if I have free time. 

Jesse saw Taiga's brow had frowned. 

Your employees?

Jesse nodded as he smiled softly. 

So you own a company?

Jesse met Taiga's eyes before he answered him.

Well, it's my family business. I am just a part of this.

Taiga's dazzling eyes widened, his mouth slightly parted, looking surprised. He typed again without closing his mouth. It seemed like Jesse needed to introduce himself more. He couldn't help but smile shyly at him. 

Was it that surprising?

Jesse saw Taiga formed a thin line on his lips, shutting his eyes tightly and placed his hand in front of his face. 

"I'm sorry!" He told Jesse directly. Jesse shook his head fastly as he felt guilty for making Taiga apologize.

Jesse moved his hands on his chest again, telling him that it was fine. He saw Taiga typing fastly on his phone then looked at him in concern. Jesse checked his phone when it beeped and read the message. 

You didn't look like a CEO to me… I really thought he was just your friend.

Jesse let out a chuckle. He felt glad that Taiga saw him as a friendly guy who has a lot of friends, even the owner of a yakiniku restaurant.

Well, Jesse didn't deny that he was a friendly guy. At least that was what they said about him.

Jesse nodded shyly as he said his thanks to Taiga. 

His ears flushed, his heart started pounding again, meanwhile Taiga looked at him shyly. Thankfully the manager came with the chef, serving them with the food. The meat was served on five plates and sliced neatly. The next two plates were salad. Then the next two plates were pork belly. They also served them with two glasses of beer. These were what Jesse used to order with his employees—this was also his favorite menu for this yakiniku restaurant.

Jesse took a glance at Taiga and saw how wide his eyes were. These were just raw meats but Jesse could see how Taiga was ready to eat them. Taiga looked like he was drooling when the chef cooked it for them. His small mouth was opened. Jesse couldn't help but giggled when he realized that Taiga looked like a surprised hamster. 

"So cute…" He mumbled while lowering his face, trying to hide his blushing face.

As the chef finished, he and the manager left them. Just the two of them. If Jesse was saying Taiga was ready to eat them, he could see he was ready to attack them. Jesse could see how fire lit inside his eyes. He couldn't hide his laughter anymore.

"You really want to eat this, huh?" Jesse said as he giggled, making Taiga blushed. Jesse saw how Taiga sniffed the food and how his eyes were shining after that. Jesse would love to feed him with this food.

"Please enjoy!" Jesse smiled brightly at him, letting him take the first bite of its food. He saw Taiga take the belly part first and eat them. He took another piece of meat again into his mouth. Taiga really looked like a hamster, that was Jesse thought. He could tell Taiga enjoyed it just by seeing his reaction.

"How was it?" Jesse asked after waving at Taiga. He saw Taiga placed his own palms on his cheeks and smiled cutely while chewing the meat. "Yummy?" Jesse asked. He saw Taiga typing on his phone again and showed it to him. 

It's so yummy!! The meat is so tender. I feel like I can eat them all at once lol.

"Don't eat them at once, Taiga." Jesse mumbled as he laughed after hearing Taiga's thoughts. He placed his palms on his cheeks again and asked Taiga, "Is this how you say yummy?" Taiga nodded and followed his gesture.

"That's so cute."

Jesse started to eat the food while he saw Taiga took another piece of meat again. They chuckled softly while eating their food. Indeed the food itself was already delicious. The tenderness was on another level. The seasoning of the meat also felt strong yet delicious. Jesse felt grateful he could take Taiga to this restaurant. He could tell that Taiga really enjoyed his food. He didn't even realize how messy he was while eating, making Jesse giggled as he spotted the sauce in the corner of Taiga's lips. He tried to tell Taiga by pointing it on his face, but Taiga didn't get it. He looked confused when Jesse kept pointing at his lips.

Without realizing, Jesse took a tissue, got up from his seat and apologized quietly before he bent a bit and wiped the sauce from Taiga's lips.

"There was sauce on your lips." Jesse said as he smiled softly. He just realized what he was doing after he saw Taiga's face blossom with red. He had averted his eyes from Taiga and cursed himself under his breath.

"Shit! Did I just touch his lips!!"

Neither his curse nor his pounding heart, Jesse couldn't stop both. He could feel himself blushing. He took another piece of meat to cover his reddened face—although it was a waste. He tried to take a glance at Taiga after stuffing some pieces of meat into his mouth.

Jesse stopped chewing as he realized that Taiga had been watching him. "Are you okay?" He asked using sign. Jesse tried to swallow them before he formed a forced smile on his lips, telling him that he was fine—which was clear that he wasn't. He just kept embarrassing himself.

"Not cool, Jes. Not cool… " He said behind his gritted teeth. He took a deep breath before trying to wash away the embarrassment around him, but someone suddenly popped up beside him.

"Taiga!!" The guy said as he waved at Taiga. The guy with long curly hair, wearing short pants and black t-shirt walked closer to him and greeted him happily. Jesse really thought that he might be someone closer to Taiga as he saw how Taiga talked easily with this tall guy. Jesse, who could only smile as he was wondering what they were talking about when he saw Taiga slapped the guy's arms and blushed. But instead of being offended, the guy giggled and made Taiga blushed even more. He took a seat beside Taiga who looked kinda grumpy. 

They talked freely and happily by sign, like there was nothing to worry about. It was different when he talked with Jesse. For the first time, Jesse saw many expressions of Taiga when he talked. He looked cute, passionate, and happy when he talked with this guy. 

Jesse felt a bit jealous… 

He wanted to talk more with Taiga.

He wanted to see that kind of expression of Taiga when he talked to him.

Of course there was still a long way for him to get closer to Taiga.

But, could he do that?

Could he get closer to him?

Jesse lowered his head a bit to wash away his negative thoughts. As if Taiga could read his mind, he tapped the table, making Jesse raise his head to look at him. He introduced the guy to him. 

"Morimoto Shintaro, just call me Shin." The guy said as he held out his hand. Jesse shook his hand happily and introduced himself.

"Y-you… Jesse? That Jesse? Jesse Lewis?!" Shin said as he covered his mouth. Jesse smiled shyly as he nodded, making Shin jolted up in his chair. Jesse saw how Taiga looked surprised by Shin's reaction and asked him.

"You don't know him?! He's the CEO of Lewis company. One of the biggest Furniture companies here!!" Shin said with his round eyes. Jesse could say he might have just overreacted. He looked at Taiga who looked stunned on his seat. Jesse shook his head and told them that they didn't have to act politely because they're his friends. He just met Shin a few minutes ago, indeed. But Jesse could sense that Shin is a funny guy, and he wanted to be friends with him—he wanted to be friends with Taiga's friends especially when he saw how good Shin was in sign.

"I would love to join you, but I have to go. My girlfriend has been waiting for me outside." Shin said proudly. Taiga looked surprised again and said something to Shin that Jesse couldn't understand. He wished he could learn to sign earlier. So early before he met Taiga, or maybe the moment after he met Taiga.

Shin bid them goodbye and walked away, leaving them alone on their table with half of their food. Jesse took some of them again on his own plate, and handed some to Taiga as if he asked him to eat more—even though he had been eating more than Jesse himself. Taiga nodded slowly and ate them peacefully. They kept eating it again and again until nothing was left. Jesse could say he didn't eat as much as he used to. He had let Taiga eat more because it was fun for him, watching Taiga eat and seeing how happy he was, it caused warmth inside Jesse's heart. They might not have talked much, but the atmosphere between them was good.

At least that was what Jesse thought… 

Jesse saw Taiga leaned his back on his seat, looking sleepy as he blinked slowly. Jesse took the last gulp of his beer and straightened his body. 

"Shall we go home?" He asked through his phone. Taiga nodded and straightened his body, reaching for his sling bag as if he wanted to pay for his food. But Jesse had stopped him.

"I've paid for these." He smiled softly. He repeated his words slowly when he realized that Taiga looked confused. "If you want, you can pay for another meal later." Jesse said through text. He looked at Taiga and smiled gently at him. Jesse walked before Taiga and bid his thanks to the manager who had been waiting for him in front of the kitchen.

"Do you want to walk or wait for the bus?" Jesse asked him slowly. He was worried Taiga might be tired of walking—yes he had remembered how they had arrived at this place. But Taiga told him that he would be fine if they walked again. So they walked.

They walked side by side again in the crowd at night. It was almost at ten by night but the street was still busy with people around. Jesse, for some reasons, had gotten used to his pounding heart. The moment when he saw how freely Taiga talked with Shin, all he could think was he wanted to talk more with Taiga. He didn't know any sign, he hadn't learned about it. He just learned about it—a few words—this evening, in 30 minutes when he waited for Taiga. But he wanted to talk to him. So Jesse took any chances to talk with him even though he did it mostly by his phone. Sometimes he sent texts, sometimes he used the transcriber.

Anything.

He would use anything as long as he could talk with Taiga.

And that worked. They had talked a lot—mostly Jesse who asked a lot of questions then Taiga answered it for him. He also asked him about flowers. Something that brought Taiga to talk more than before.

Flower could be the sound of earth. It could be the sound of our hearts too. When you can't show your feelings, you could use flowers to help you with it.

Well there's a lot of things that we can use for, but I feel like flowers are the best for it. I can use them to show my feelings. At least that's what I feel.

Jesse turned his face into Taiga and saw him smiling softly at him.

It looked like an angelic smile. 

Jesse's heart started beating hard again as he saw that smile. Taiga's cheeks had tinted pink, his hair was swept by the night breeze, and his eyes glistened between the city lamps. 

Is that the reason you became a florist?

Taiga looked at Jesse's phone and nodded. "One of them, yes." He continued. 

Jesse turned his face away from Taiga, lowered his head as he smiled softly. He looked around and realized that they were already closer to the La Vie En Rose. Jesse was going to stop his talk, but then something crossed his mind.

He turned his face towards Taiga and waved at him, "Would you mind telling me more about the meaning of flowers?" he asked through his phone. 

Taiga nodded before he typed on his phone.

Depends on the flower.

Rose, a classic flower to convey many things, mostly people used it to convey about love. Daisy to convey about innocence. Camellia for faithfulness. Marigold for pain and grief, and Hyacinth for jealousy. There's a lot that I can't mention. But, not only the type of flowers, even each color of only one flower has its own meaning.

Jesse nodded slowly as he kept every word that Taiga told him.

It was weird for him. He couldn't hear his voice, but he felt so calm just by reading it. He felt like he was attached to Taiga in another way. 

Nah. Not in another way, but many things, perhaps… Or just one thing that he already knew. 

They talked a lot, more than Jesse thought, killing time until they had arrived in front of Taiga's place. Jesse stopped and faced Taiga, looking at him deeply for the last time—at least for tonight. They smiled at each other, letting the night breeze touch their skin softly. Before he let Taiga enter his own place, Jesse asked him for the last time.

If you could pick one, what kind of flowers would you want from someone?

Jesse bit his lower lip as Taiga looked at his phone. He watched Taiga's moist lips pursed as he thought about it. Jesse waited for his answer patiently while letting his beating heart fill his ears.

I don't know… It's difficult to pick if I could get it from someone.

Jesse's lips slightly pouted when reading the answer.

But, if I could give someone, I'd pick a peony.

Jesse's lips parted as he read the text on his phone. He knew from Taiga that every flower has its own meaning. And Jesse felt like he had seen a peony somewhere. But he couldn't remember it. 

As he tried to remember the flower, the summer night breeze touched his bangs and made them cover his eyes. He was about to brush them away but a warm hand had touched them first.

Jesse was stunned when Taiga touched his forehead gently, brushing away his bangs. His pupil dilated as he realized how close Taiga was. He could even see how long his eyelashes, how pretty his philtrum, and how moist his small lips were. He didn't even let out a single breath when Taiga looked into his eyes. Taiga had lowered his hands and said something towards Jesse by sign without moving his own lips. Jesse had no idea what it was. He really wanted to know what Taiga was saying as he saw a gentle smile etched on Taiga's lips.

Jesse blinked slowly as his lips parted, trying to act normal even though he had exploded inside. Taiga, once again smiled at him and bid him goodbye. Jesse could guess what Taiga was saying as he remembered the gestures. 

"Thank you. See you later."

Jesse still couldn't move at all as he watched Taiga waved at him and walked inside the shop, leaving Jesse alone on the street with his exploding heart. 

As Taiga was gone from his sight, Jesse tried to drag himself to walk towards the alley. But his legs had become weak, so he had to stop and kneel on the road, placing his palm on his chest as he felt how loud the explosion was. He tried to catch some breath, filling his lungs with more oxygen so he could get up. 

He was still busy catching some air, but then his phone beeped. As if his heart still had pieces to be exploded, he dared to open the text from someone that had been making him like this.

I had so much fun with you. 

Thank you for tonight. 

 

See you again!

Jesse turned his phone screen upside down fastly, facing his head to the ground. He bit his lower lips as he tried to swallow his scream. 

"D-did… Did he want to kill me…" Jesse mumbled to himself as his eyes wandered. Thankfully there was no one around. No one was allowed to see him like this. 

No one.

Jesse took a deep breath and gathered all strength on his legs before he tried to get up. He had to arrive at home and screamed out loud his feelings by telling his best friend, Juri. He clenched his hand into a fist and walked away as fast as he could without caring how tired his legs were. He couldn't even feel his legs, he could only feel his heart—wait, his heart had exploded so he needed to put them back together. 

And he might need Juri to help him again this time. 

Jesse had been learning sign language. After his date with Taiga went well—Jesse was sure he could call it a date—he decided to learn sign language. He had told Juri about everything that happened that night.

Every detail that he couldn't forget.

He also had asked Juri to find him free time—at least 2 times in a week—for him to learn sign language. Juri had offered him to take an online class, but Jesse rejected it. He preferred to take an offline class because it would be easier for him to remember this faster. He had been attending the class at night every Tuesday and Thursday. Jesse could tell he was so much better than when he first came to the class. Even though somehow Jesse kept asking Taiga about something that he didn't understand— well that was also Jesse's reason to VC him or to talk with him. Of course he would take any chance to text or to video-call Taiga whenever he could—or whenever he wanted. 

They had been doing it many times. Sometimes Jesse just asked him for lunch or dinner. Sometimes he asked him to go out on weekends. But he visited Taiga at La Vie En Rose frequently and talked with him, or spent his time watching Taiga taking care of the flowers.

Like now.

Jesse always loved watching Taiga doing it. He loved how Taiga smiled while arranging the flowers. He loved how Taiga's eyes widened like a cat when he needed to focus. He loved how his lips pursed when he made a bouquet.

And he loved how Taiga sometimes looked at him and gave a radiant smile to him, as if he liked seeing Jesse sat like a puppy in the corner of his shop, making Jesse's heart beating faster as always.

Jesse stood up when Taiga walked closer towards him, asking him whether he had lunch or not. Jesse nodded slowly, telling him that he had lunch after his meeting even though he hadn't touched his lunch box on his office. 

"I've bought you something." He said as he handed out a box of pie that he bought on the way here. Taiga smiled as he took the box and asked him to eat it together. He walked inside, bringing two plates and a teapot. Taiga knew Jesse loved tea. They had shared about their preferences of food months ago.

They took a seat facing each other as Jesse suggested because he wanted to see Taiga. 

"Is it good?" Jesse asked when he recognized how Taiga seemed enjoying their fruits pie. 

" It's!!! It's so yummy!!!" Taiga told him while he closed his eyes and placed his palms on his chubby cheeks. Jesse really loved seeing him eating. After he got to know Taiga in these past months, he knew how Taiga loved food. Jesse would love feeding him with many delicious foods if he could see how happy Taiga would be.

Jesse smiled softly as he watched Taiga chewing his pie while taking a bite of his own pie without averting his eyes from Taiga. He didn't even recognize how sweet the pie was because all the sweets were already there, taken by the person who kept eating peacefully in front of him.

As Jesse swallowed his pie, he saw Taiga checked his own phone with his wide eyes. He typed quickly for a moment before he placed his phone beside him, looking sad. Jesse saw how Taiga pouted—cutely—and couldn't keep himself from asking.

"What happened?" 

Taiga sighed before he answered Jesse's question.

" My mother asked me to go home next week. They want to celebrate my birthday…" He said while pouting. 

"Your… birthday?" Jesse asked, looking surprised. Taiga nodded slowly and averted his eyes from Jesse. 

Jesse felt embarrassed.

He had realized that after all this time, he never asked anything about Taiga's birthday. Maybe because he found that birthday was such a sad thing for him, so he didn't want to talk about it. Whether it was his birthday, or other, he just didn't want to talk about it. 

But it was Taiga.

It was Taiga's birthday.

It wasn't him or anyone else. So he asked. 

"Why do you look sad? You don't want to go home?" Jesse asked after he buried his gloomy feeling.

Taiga shook his head slowly before he told Jesse, " I can't go home. Obaachan needs me here. She is alone and I can't leave her. Unless if her son comes back here. "

Jesse didn't know how to respond. He wasn't sure what Taiga felt, yet he was scared to ask. He felt Taiga might want to celebrate it with his family, but at the same time, he couldn't leave this place.

Jesse took another spoon of his pie as he remembered the moment when he asked Taiga's reason to stay at this shop. He could see Taiga looks like a rich boy, but he stayed here. He said that he wanted to help his obaachan to organize her shop. Moreover, Taiga loved flowers and he didn't have anything to do. So he moved here.

Deep down, Jesse felt happy because that was how he could meet Taiga. If Taiga wasn't a florist, if Taiga didn't live here, if Taiga didn't open a shop here, he might never meet him.

He might never fall in love again.

But then Taiga said that if he came back to his hometown, he might not be able to go back here anymore.

Jesse wanted to ask, but he didn't do it. He didn't want to. He didn't know why, he didn't want to know the reason. 

… Not yet.

"So, will you go back?" Jesse asked after he took a sip of his tea to wash away his negative thoughts. Taiga shook his head, " No, I guess not. " Taiga answered as he made a thin line on his lips.

… Was it a sin if Jesse felt relief?

He couldn't deny that he was kinda relieved after knowing that Taiga wouldn't go back to his hometown. But he didn't want to make Taiga sad. So he would do something for him. He had still a week before the day.

But that was only his plan.

Taiga's birthday was in 3 days and Jesse still had no idea what he wanted to do. He asked Juri—again—and he suggested taking Taiga to a fancy restaurant. Jesse wasn't sure about it. He would love to feed Taiga. But Jesse wanted something special. Something that probably would make Taiga happy.

Something precious.

"Ask him out." Juri said after he sipped his coffee.

"What?"

"You mean, go for a walk, a date?" Jesse asked innocently. "You know I've been asking him a lot, right? We've been going to many places. I want som—" 

"No! That's not what I mean." Juri had cut him before he continued his words. "Ask him out, date him!" Juri smiled as he looked at Jesse. Jesse blinked repeatedly, he didn't expect that Juri would offer this kind of thing.

"H-how?..." 

Juri shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. You can do anything you want." 

Jesse was still in silence. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do. Indeed, Jesse liked Taiga. 

He liked him so much. But Jesse never thought he would ask him out. He wasn't sure whether Taiga saw him as a friend or not.

He didn't know Taiga preferred.

What if he liked women?

What if he liked men, but Jesse wasn't his type?

What if Taiga didn't have plans to date anyone?

What if Jesse got rejected?

Jesse wasn't ready for that. Of course he would be so happy if Taiga liked him too. And deep down, he believed Taiga did. But what if Taiga was just being kind?

Jesse didn't know.

… But deep down, he wanted to try. It wouldn't be that hurt if he got rejected, would it?

At least he still could be friends with him…right? 

He had spent a day in his room, thinking about it, considering his decision to ask Taiga out on his birthday. What would he do, how would he ask, should he do this romantically?

As he thought about it, someone entered his house.

"I'm home~~"

" Oniichaaaan?"

His savior had come. 

"Charlotte!!" Jesse walked out his room and welcomed Charlotte. He hugged his little sister and asked her, "you're already on holiday?" 

Charlotte shook her head as she dragged her luggage. "Not yet. But I have 3 days off this week. Grandma said that I have to pick you up, so you could go home with me later."

Jesse really forgot his promise to visit his grandma at the end of the year. He enjoyed his time a lot here, especially when he met Taiga. 

"Why did you bring your luggage now?" He asked as he took Charlotte's luggage into her room—his visitor room.

"I will stay here. Then go back before school starts." She smiled. " Oniichan , have you had dinner?" She asked again as she walked to the kitchen. Jesse hummed while shaking his head and walked behind Charlotte. He had something in his mind that needed to be cleared. 

As he saw Charlotte prepared for their dinner. He took a seat on the table and watched her politely, like a puppy waiting to be fed.

Jesse let the sound of cooking filled his ears before he cleared his throat, gathering his guts to ask his little sister.

"Charlotte… "

"Hmmm?"

"Can you teach me how to make a cake?"

Charlotte had stopped her hand that was chopping onion, then raised her head, looking at his brother.

"A cake?" She asked. "What for?"

"Birthday… cake." Jesse said while making a thin line on his lips, he wasn't sure to tell Charlotte the truth.

"Hmmmm…… Okay then. What kind of cake does Oniichan want?"

Jesse was in silence as something crossed his mind. 

"A peach… blossom… cake. Maybe in the same color or you can help me to make the flowers around… them… " Jesse averted his eyes as he realized the way Charlotte smirked at him. 

"... You have a girlfriend, huh?" She asked teasingly.

"No! I don't!" He answered quickly. In fact, Jesse didn't have a girlfriend. Also the cake wasn't for a girl. 

No, he couldn't tell her about that—Taiga.

Not yet. 

"When will Oniichan need it?"

"In 3 days, on 3rd December. This Sunday."

Jesse blinked a few times as he waited for Charlotte's answer. 

"..... Are you sure you can make a cake in 3 days?" 

Jesse himself wasn't sure with it, but he wanted to try. He would do his best.

"Yes." He said confidently.

And that was how Charlotte teached him to make a cake. Jesse could tell Charlotte really tried her best to make it simple, yet still beautiful. She patiently listened to everything Jesse wanted and Jesse did the same too. He had been listening carefully to Charlotte's words.

Jesse really did his best until he got a proper cake after burning them more than 10 times, a perfect texture and taste—thanks to Charlotte—and then he learned how to decorate his cake. Jesse picked a peach blossom for the flower because it fits Taiga perfectly. Taiga looked so beautiful, yet cute. Especially, he smelled like a peach blossom.

"It doesn't look like a peach blossom, Oniichan… " Charlotte said when she looked at Jesse's work, her eyebrows furrowed. Jesse could only smile after listening to the same words for an hour. 

"It's difficult, Charlotte… " he whined and placed the whipped cream beside the plate. He looked at Charlotte while pouting, as if he asked her to do it for him. He had been doing it for 2 days and he still couldn't get a proper decoration for his cake. He almost lost his concentration because Taiga's birthday would come in a few hours. He had asked Taiga about what he wanted, but he still didn't get any reply from him since 2 days ago, making Jesse worried more.

"Let's try again later." Charlotte said as she tried to support his brother more. "You want to give your best, right? Then let's work hard. I believe Oniichan can do this." She continued while clenching her hands, giving more support to her big brother. 

Jesse walked closer and hugged her like a baby—a big baby, forgetting that he hadn't taken off his plastic gloves.

"Nooo! It's dirty!!" Charlotte said as she pushed his big brother away from her. Jesse let out a chuckle after seeing how his sister reacted to his hug. Jesse took a deep breath and looked at his cake for the last time before he washed himself and took some sleep.

And like what people said, the hard work wouldn't disappoint was right. Jesse managed to make a beautiful peony on his cake. Taiga's name was written on the center of the cake and there were a few peonies in the corner of the name. Jesse had asked Charlotte to draw more peonies around the cake because her results looked better.

Jesse wasn't lying when he looked at the cake, he almost cried.

He couldn't believe that he could do this for Taiga. He couldn't wait to show it to him and let him taste it. He also had prepared another plan for his confession. Jesse had brought a bouquet of flowers in another shop and he would give it to Taiga. He also tucked a small paper with his hand writing on the bouquet. Just a few words of his wishes for Taiga and his feelings.

Jesse was too focused with the cake, he didn't even realize that the sun had got replaced by the moon. He walked back to his room after he cleaned the kitchen, letting Charlotte take some rest in the living room before she went back to their grandma's place.

He took a shower and picked the best clothes to make him look good for Taiga's birthday.

Jesse had sent a birthday message for Taiga, but he wasn't getting any replies. He hadn't even gotten any response from him since 3 days ago.

"Is he busy?" Jesse mumbled to no one, trying to wash away his negative thoughts. Taiga had told him that he wouldn't go back to his hometown and Jesse believed it. He wanted to believe that Taiga didn't go.

Taiga wouldn't leave.

…Or maybe Jesse wanted to convince himself of what he wanted to believe… 

Jesse put his coat, bringing the bouquet in his hand, and taking the box of the cake in the other hand. 

"Charlotte, I'm going! Don't forget to lock the door when you're out!!" He said before he walked out of his place, going to Taiga's place.

Tonight was such a crucial time for Jesse. He had been preparing this for a week. He remembered how confused he was, asking Juri for his help and ended up making a cake with Charlotte. He remembered how he wasn't sure to ask Taiga out on his birthday, but he wanted to try.

Jesse was ready for this.

He was ready for anything that would happen tonight. 

He was ready to get Taiga's answer.

He was ready, indeed. But it didn't mean that he wasn't nervous. He couldn't hear his footsteps or the crowd on the street because of his loud pounding heart, louder than usual when he met Taiga.

But when he arrived at the shop, his eyes widened.

The shop had closed. The lamp was still off, and nobody was around. Jesse had visited this shop many times and Taiga never closed his shop this early.

What happened?

Where was Taiga?

He wasn't here?

The shop looked so quiet, like nobody was there.

Worries had started spreading inside him. He swallowed hard as he felt his throat had become dry.

Did Taiga leave? 

But Taiga said that he wouldn't leave?

What if he changed his mind?

But why didn't he tell him? Why didn't he let Jesse know? At least he could tell him even though Jesse didn't mean anything to him. Even though he might only see Jesse as a friend. 

But Jesse had a right to know, didn't he? 

If Taiga didn't want to tell him, he would ask him. He had tried to call Taiga many times, but he didn't get any answer. 

Jesse clenched hard his hand, as if he forgot that he was holding the box of the cake that he had made with his heart.

Jesse could only wait. 

He had waited for 5 minutes.

10 minutes… 

15 minutes… 

Jesse lowered his head and sat beside the shop, waiting for Taiga to appear in front of him.

But instead of Taiga, an old lady came and tapped his shoulder.

" What's wrong, boy ?" She asked using sign language.

A beautiful old lady wearing a jacket and a beanie hat stood in front of him. When he saw her, Jesse had thought that this old lady was Taiga's obaachan, the real owner of this shop.

"Ummm…"

"I'm looking for Taiga." Jesse told her slowly, trying to calm himself—his nearly broken heart.

The old lady stared at him before she snapped her fingers, jaw dropped a bit as if she realized something. She grabbed Jesse's hand that was full of a bouquet and the box, then dragged him to walk away from the shop, making Jesse stumble.

Jesse wanted to ask but she kept her face to the front, didn't give any chance for him to say anything. They turned on the left and walked into another alley. The alley was quiet, there weren't many houses around. But there were only cats, chubby cats if Jesse could say, and they stared at the old lady and followed her, maybe these cats belonged to her.

The old lady had stopped in front of an old house on her left. It wasn't a big house nor small. But it was pretty. The wall was painted well in peach color with many flowers on the front.

Jesse recognized some of them.

Two of them were Daisy and Carnation. Daisy was one of Jesse's favorites. He was considering giving it for Taiga's birthday—yes, he remembered Taiga's mentioned daisy for innocence and Jesse thought it would fit Taiga perfectly— but he changed it to another flower.

Jesse waited for the old lady to open the door and stepped in. 

" Taiga is upstairs ." She told Jesse and smiled brightly while shrugging her shoulders, signaling him to go upstairs and meet Taiga. Jesse had a lot of questions, but he chose to keep it inside for now. He nodded and smiled politely before he walked in, stepping his feet on the wood stairs.

He stopped his feet in front of the door with Taiga's name written on it. Jesse turned his head towards the place where the old lady stood, but she wasn't there anymore. 

Jesse pushed his lips together as he tried to gather his guts to knock on the door.

… He forgot that he couldn't get Taiga's answer by doing that.

He opened the door slowly and stepped in, peeking into the room before he dragged himself in. Jesse could smell peach blossoms spreading around the room. A sweet aroma like honey and fruits, but still soft.

He closed the door slowly as he spotted a man half buried in a fluffy blanket, wearing a red jacket, sleeping beautifully as if he didn't care about the world.

As Jesse walked closer to Taiga, the smell of peach blossoms became stronger and stronger. He really thought it came from him, but then he found a candle lit and a bottle of shampoo beside his bed.

"So that's why you smelled like a peach blossom… '' Jesse mumbled to himself as a thin smile etched on his lips. He bent down beside Taiga's bed, placing the box of the cake that he wished he could eat with him later, then placed his hand on Taiga's bed.

Jesse's eyes wandered over Taiga's face as he smiled softly. He had gazed at Taiga closer than this a few times, but he never had any chance to adore his figure this long.

Taiga's ethereal beauty that Jesse never tires of.

He took minutes by minutes, adoring Taiga's sleeping figure beside him. 

Jesse stood up, removing his coat, placing the bouquet beside him, and sitting closer to Taiga. He could hear his soft breath as he leaned in. He slightly brushed the bangs that covered Taiga's eyes, tucking it behind his ear.

Jesse could see Taiga's face reddened. 

"He doesn't feel well?" Jesse asked worriedly. His eyebrows slightly furrowed as he dared himself to place the back of his hand onto Taiga's forehead. 

It wasn't warm, he could feel the heat on Taiga's body.

He lowered his hand from Taiga as he saw him stirred his body, making his fluffy blanket fall slightly from his chest.

Jesse was going to lift the blanket up to his chest, but his eyes spotted something under Taiga's arm.

A photo. 

Taiga's photo wearing a uniform. 

Jesse couldn't deny that his curiosity had overcome him. He took it and looked at it.

Jesse guessed it was taken when Taiga was still in high school. A photo of Taiga with a boy beside him. The boy looked a bit taller than Taiga, with short black hair, his eyes squinted as he laughed while placing his arm around Taiga.

Who was it? 

Who was this boy until Taiga had to keep this photo with him while he slept, was this someone important to him?

His brother?

But Jesse remembered that Taiga was the only child in his family.

Then who was it? His friend? What kind of friend? Why did they smile so happily? Why did they take the picture while embracing each other's shoulders?

Also Taiga… looked so happy… 

Jesse hadn't ever seen Taiga smile this brightly when he was with him.

For a reason that he hadn't known yet, his heart ached.

He put the photo back beside Taiga. He kneeled as he lifted Taiga's blanket to his chest, locking his eyes on Taiga's beautiful sleeping face. 

For some reason, Jesse had changed his mind.

He was scared.

He wasn't ready to be rejected.

He wasn't ready if Taiga stayed away from him after knowing his feelings.

He wasn't ready knowing another fact that might hurt him.

He wasn't ready if Taiga left him.

He wasn't ready for that.

Being friends with Taiga was enough. Walking with Taiga anywhere, feeding him with delicious foods, and exchanging stories, that was enough.

Being on Taiga's side was enough.

He wasn't ready for another heartbreak.

He wasn't that strong… 

Jesse locked his eyes on Taiga's lips.

… stealing a kiss from him wouldn't be a sin, would it? 

He leaned his body, feeling Taiga's warm breath before he landed a soft kiss on Taiga's dry lips.

"Happy birthday, Taiga." He spoke softly in front of Taiga's lips, smiling pitifully before he stood up. 

He took his coat beside him, covering his trembling body and his aching heart. 

For the last time, Jesse turned his face towards Taiga who was still in the same position as before.

He swallowed hard to wash away the lump in his throat. He walked slowly, leaving the cake that he had made, and the bouquet that he had bought —both showing his heart— out of Taiga's room. He closed the door and walked down the stairs. He saw the old lady was sitting there, closing her eyes. It seemed like she was sleeping. Jesse didn't want to bother her, so he bowed quietly before he left the place together with his hand written paper in his pocket.

"Welcome, Sir. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Ummm. I want a bouquet of flowers."

"Alright. May I know what kind of flowers you need? Is it for a birthday? For a wedding? For your family? Friends? Or for someone you love?" 

Jesse took a few minutes before he gave his answer.

"For the last one." Jesse said softly. 

"For someone you love?" She asked again, making sure of what Jesse wanted. Jesse nodded as he bit his lower lip. He could feel his ear reddened when he did that.

"Alright. Please wait here, Sir." She told Jesse as smiled politely.

It didn't take long for her to return, bringing a bouquet of flowers that Jesse didn't expect.

"Red tulips?" Jesse asked, looking confused. 

"I thought it would be roses."

"Red tulips have the similar meaning as red roses, Sir. Love, passion, affection. Red roses are classic, so I recommended you to give them red tulips. They're a unique way to tell the person that you love them. If I may say, they are deeper than roses. If someone gives me a red tulip, I can see that he was deeply in love with me." She said confidently.

Jesse, who didn't know lots about tulips accepted her advice by taking the bouquet with him.

"Do you need a greeting card, Sir?"

".... No, thank you." He smiled politely at the florist. Jesse had planned to write something by himself.

As he arrived at his house. He took a notebook, writing his wishes for Taiga and telling him about his feelings. It wasn't easy for him. He had crumpled up a lot of paper before he found better words. Perfect words if Jesse may say.

He wrote them slowly, pouring out all his feelings in a short sentence. He looked at it and smiled softly. He folded it and tucked it in the bouquet.

He wished Taiga would find it. 

Happy birthday, Taiga.

 

We just got to know each other a few months ago, but I really have a lot of fun with you. I really like seeing your smile. I really like talking with you, and I'm sorry because I'm still not good with sign language. But I hope you're still willing to talk with me. I will work hard! 

 

I made you a cake, hehehe. I hope you like it. Once again, happy birthday!! May your life be full of health, love, and happiness. 

 

Speaking of happiness, I really like seeing your smile, your happy smile, Taiga.

 

I really like seeing your laugh. I really like seeing you while eating. I really like your round eyes. I really like your brown hair. 

I really like everything about you.

And I want to be by your side.

 

I want you to be happy.

Because I like you.

 

I love you...

 

Taiga, would you let me be your happiness?

With love,

Jesse.

Jesse had arrived at his place. He unlocked the door and stepped in, entering the empty house with his nearly broken heart. He didn't know why but the atmosphere inside his house felt colder than earlier. Jesse then took off his shoes as he arrived at his living room, leaving them lying on the floor. He didn't even touch his dinner even though Charlotte had told him by text to eat it, but Jesse had lost his appetite. All he wanted to do was just sleep. He took off his coat, placing it on his couch before entering his dark room and throwing himself on his bed. 

He laid his chest on it, hoping to push its ache that he failed to leave on the street when he walked back here. He inhaled deeply, washing away its cloud inside him, then he closed his eyes as he tried to shut down his brain, his messy brain.

It hurt him, but he still hoped that he might see a message the next morning from a person that he wished to meet last night. 

A person that he had been missing. A person that he had kissed. A person that had stolen his heart.

But he got nothing. As Jesse opened his eyes, he found himself lying his back on the bed. The sunlight had sneaked into his room as he rubbed his eyes, trying to wash away the sleepiness from them. He turned his face beside him, blinking slowly as he tried to see the clock.

9:17 am.

He had a meeting around 10.

He had to wake up.

He had to work, he had to bring himself to focus.

It's weird, isn't it? He didn't know the boy with Taiga, but he felt like his heart had broken. He should've asked him first about him. Who was he? Who was this boy? His friend? Were they close? Jesse wanted to ask. He really wanted to, but he didn't know how to do that.

He couldn't imagine himself getting rejected by Taiga if he told him his feelings directly. Sending him those red tulips was enough.

Jesse told himself that it was enough, being there on Taiga's side was enough. But his heart spoke the truth.

He still had some hope for him. He still had hope that maybe Taiga would tell him. Maybe Taiga would get it. 

But it seemed like he didn't.

Probably… 

Jesse didn't know.

As he placed his arm on his eyes, his phone pinged on his pocket.

Sir, you have a meeting at 10 this morning.

I will arrive at your place in 10 minutes.

10 minutes had come faster than he thought. Jesse just finished taking a shower as he heard someone knocking on his door.

It must be Juri.

"Good morning, Mr. Lewis." Juri greeted him with a soft smile. "I brought your breakfast." He continued as he handed him two pieces of sandwiches. Jesse stepped back as he opened his door wide to let Juri in to help him before they went to the office.

"How was it?" Juri asked him after Jesse took a bite of his sandwich on its plate.

"It's good." He answered quietly. He thought he had answered him clearly, but he could feel Juri had been looking at him as if he was waiting for another answer.

"How was it?" Juri asked him again. Jesse knew clearly what Juri meant, but he tried to ignore it. He didn't want to bring the topic up.

But Juri was so stubborn. He kept staring at him until he got what he wanted, which was bothering Jesse enough. 

Jesse took a deep breath before he placed his half sandwich onto its plate. "Nothing." He said before he sipped his tea to wash away the food on his throat or the lump that started growing inside him.

"I see… "

Jesse thought that Juri would ask him more, but he didn't. He nodded slowly and lowered his face as he grabbed his coffee, drinking it as usual.

Somehow Jesse forgot that Juri knew him so well—too well— because he knew Jesse didn't want to talk about it. So he didn't ask. The best thing Juri could do for now is just being there for Jesse, helping him to focus on his work even though Juri knew it might be a bit difficult.

"Ready?" Juri asked after he cleaned their tables. Jesse nodded slowly as he took his coat from his room. Juri opened the door for him and locked it as Jesse walked before him.

No matter how difficult it was, Jesse managed to be a professional. He had to. He managed to attend their meetings and gave some advice when he thought it was needed. 

Work is work. His heart, he could deal with it later.

Juri, on the other hand, never took his eyes off Jesse. Juri saw how hard Jesse tried to focus on his work.

Something had happened.

But it was clear that Jesse didn't want to talk about it. So Juri didn't ask. He watched him. He could only watch and be there for him. Meanwhile Jesse kept busying himself, reading those papers, signing them, repeating this for hours.

"When is the next meeting, Juri?" He asked while reading another proposal on his desk.

"At 3pm tomorrow, Sir." Jesse only nodded as he kept his eyes on its paper. 

"Do you want to go home, Sir?" Juri asked carefully. Jesse raised his head as his brows furrowed, looking confused at Juri. He checked his clock beside him.

It was 8pm.

Jesse didn't realize that he had been doing it for hours.

Juri stood on his seat, waiting for Jesse who was still in confusion.

"I think it's time for you to get rest, Sir." Juri said softly as he walked closer to him, helping Jesse to tidy up his desk. He took the paper from Jesse's hands, placing it onto the pile and bringing them back into his room. He also brought Jesse's coat from its hanger and gave it to him.

"Let's go." He told Jesse to walk before him as he helped him to close the room.

Jesse was still in silence. He barely talked on the way to his place. Juri tried to bring more topics to talk with him—in off mode—but Jesse only gave short answers—nodded, hummed, or only shook his head.

If Jesse could tell, he could barely hear Juri's voice. It was weird that he was in work mode, but when he realized that he had been doing that for hours, his body had turned off. He felt tired. His brain barely functions. Honestly, he still didn't want to eat anything today. Juri had asked him to eat his dinner because he had skipped his lunch. But Jesse didn't want it. He didn't want to eat anything. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to shut his brain off so he could stop hoping for Taiga's message.

"Jesse…" Juri called him on the doorway after he told him to go home. Jesse only hummed as he loosen his tie, not looking at Juri. 

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about anything?"

"..... There's nothing to talk about. I just need some rest." He said as he unbuttoned his shirt.

Juri took a deep breath before he let out his words, "At least eat your dinner before you rest. I'm leaving now." He said before he left Jesse alone in his room.

As the click on his door sounded a bit loud, Jesse took a deep breath. He felt his heart had been sinking again in this dark room. Jesse looked at the window, tried to listen to the sound of the night, but nothing.

It was so quiet.

Too quiet until he could only hear his soft breath. Jesse closed his eyes, trying to shut his brain off so he could sleep peacefully without thinking about his heart, about the picture, or about Taiga.

Jesse had been like this for days. He kept working and working, busying himself as a distraction so he could stop checking his phone. He could stop hoping to get any messages from Taiga. He could stop thinking about him.

But he couldn't.

It had been a week since his heart sank into his own hole. It had been a week and he still didn't get anything from him. 

He knew he wasn't supposed to be like this. He knew he could just ask Taiga about it. He knew he could just visit his place as usual. But since that night, Jesse had been really scared. 

Jesse had braved enough leaving his red tulips there, yet Taiga still didn't say anything. Why didn't he say anything? At least he could thank him for giving him a cake or telling him that he wasn't feeling well, it wouldn't be a hassle, would it? Did Taiga really get it? Did Taiga really get the meaning of those red tulips and the cake? or did he just ignore it? 

……… Was Taiga still not feeling well?

Jesse wanted to ask him. He wanted to see him. He wanted to talk to him. But he was scared.

He was scared of any step that he would take, he might lose Taiga.

"Jes?"

"Jesse?"

"Hmm?" Jesse snapped out of his thoughts, looking with his empty gaze at Juri who was sitting opposite to him as he handed him a cup of tea.

Juri took a deep breath before he let out his words. "Jesse, it has been a week since I'm seeing you like this. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" 

It was clear that Juri was worried about him. Juri didn't even want to leave his friend, but Jesse was persistent to be alone.

Jesse lowered his eyes, he wasn't sure whether to tell Juri about it or not.

"It was him, right?"

Jesse swallowed hard a lump that started growing inside him. He didn't expect that Juri would shoot him smoothly. He wanted to spit it out, but he was stuttering. His lips became dry as he tried to collect his words on his tongue, bit by bit.

And finally he told Juri slowly, about his feelings towards Taiga, about what he had seen.

About anything.

"I'm sorry, Jesse…" Juri said as he tapped Jesse's back gently. He knew Jesse was in love, but he didn't expect that he was deeply in love with Taiga.

"Jes, do you mind if I say something?" He asked carefully, feeling concerned that he would offend his friend. 

Jesse shook his head slowly, not looking at Juri who had moved and sat in front of him.

"Why don't you try to ask him?"

Jesse raised his head after hearing what Juri said, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he thought that his friend didn't get what he had told him.

"Juri, I've told you he doesn't even—"

"Ask him directly." Juri cut him before Jesse continued his words.

"If he didn't give you an answer, ask him. Go to see him, Jes."

Jesse couldn't say anything. He looked at Juri with brows slightly drooping and the corner of his lips that had lowered.

"You really love him, right? Show him. Tell him everything."

"Jesse, I might be wrong… but I feel like he's waiting for you."

All Juri had said just made Jesse speechless. He had just realized it. Juri might be right that Taiga might be waiting for him.

Jesse was sinking too deep in his own hole. He was too deep swimming in his own thoughts. It was stupid of him to think that Taiga would get his confession just because he was a florist. He forgot another possibility that Taiga might be confused as well.

"Do you think it will work?" Jesse asked quietly. He turned his face towards Juri as if he hoped to hear more support from him.

"It's worth a try." Juri said as he gave a gentle pat on his arms.

Juri was right. It's worth a try.

He should have been brave. He should have tried. He should have believed in himself. Even if his heart would break again, he could deal with it, right?

But it was easier said than done.

It took a few days for Jesse to gather his guts and talk to Taiga. He couldn't sleep well, his heart didn't stop beating hard. His anxiety wrapped him tight. He was still scared but he wanted to try. He knew he wanted to. And he had to. 

After wrapping his neck with a dark green scarf and wearing a coat on his body, Jesse brought himself walking on the crowded street. He tried to ignore how fast and how loud his heartbeat was as he kept stepping his feet on the road. He tried his best to wash away any negative thoughts that crossed his mind, convincing himself that he just wanted to talk to him.

He just wanted to see him.

He couldn't stop biting his lower lips as he held his feelings when he was close to the shop. He had stopped his feet before he entered the alley, gathering his guts for the last one before he met Taiga.

He felt like his life depended on it.

He let out a long breath as he closed his eyes, clenching his hands as he tried to calm his heart. Then he moved his feet into the alley towards the shop.

He was still worried, but he couldn't deny the excitement that had started growing inside him. He couldn't stop mumbling, wishing himself the best, hoping to get good news after he met Taiga.

But his feet suddenly stopped. His eyes widened as he spotted a man inside the shop. 

He looked a bit different but Jesse recognized him. He was the same boy that he saw in that photo. 

But he looked taller than Jesse thought. His tanned skin made him look more handsome. His dark hair made his smile look brighter.

And he was there, standing in front of Taiga. 

They were talking freely. 

Taiga smiled so happily…

The same smile that Jesse saw in the photo.

It seemed like Jesse had to deal with another heartbreak.

He thought his heart couldn't break more than this, but he was wrong.

He felt like his heart had been stabbed as he saw the guy tilting his head, moving closer to Taiga as he placed his hand around Taiga's neck.

Jesse turned his body, he didn't have guts to see it. He didn't want to see what they did. He tried his best to move as fast as he could, staying away from the shop, leaving the street and wishing that he could leave his heart there as well.

But he couldn't.

His heart had broken into pieces until he couldn't even throw them away. He felt an ache inside his chest. He buried his face in his scarf, blinking repeatedly as he tried to clear his vision that had been blurred. 

How stupid him to think that if they talked, his friendship with Taiga might develop.

How stupid him for ignoring the fact that Taiga might have rejected him.

How stupid him for keeping hope that his feelings would be mutual. 

He was so stupid.

He kept walking and walking until he arrived at his house. He even had the difficulty to open the door because his hand kept trembling. But then he managed to open the door and stepped in. He managed to hold everything, the pain and the big lump inside his throat until he saw Charlotte standing there, asking him worriedly. 

"Oniichan?"

"Oniichan, are you okay?"

Such a wall that had been destroyed, Jesse couldn't hold his feelings anymore.

He shook his head slowly before he covered his face using his own palms, letting the tears he had been holding back flow down his cheeks.

He never wanted to show his weakness in front of his sister, but this time he couldn't hold it. He was overwhelmed and he didn't want to keep it alone. So he cried.

Charlotte was surprised to see her brother crying in the doorway. She couldn't help but wrap him into a hug. She didn't know what happened. She had arrived 15 minutes ago and the house was empty. She thought that Jesse was outside with Juri. But then he came alone. Charlotte wanted to ask more, but seeing her brother crying like this, she could only assume that something bad had happened.

It took minutes for him to calm before he got help from Charlotte to walk into his room. She helped him to sit on his bed. Jesse didn't want to show his swollen eyes and his reddened face, so he kept his face low.

How funny it was for him.

Just an hour ago he was in a good mood.

How loud his pounding heart was, how big his excitement was, how good it would be if he could see Taiga. How good it would be if he managed to talk to him. How good it would be if he could confess everything to him.

But then all that excitement was gone from him, as if it was snatched away from him at the moment when he saw Taiga with him. 

Never once he thought that he would cry like this because of a man.

Never once he thought that he would be deeply in love with a man. 

Never once he thought that he would have another broken heart that hurt him as much as when their parents were gone. 

Charlotte came back and brought a cup of tea and placed it onto the desk. Jesse turned his face away as Charlotte took a seat beside him. Not wanting to show more of his weakness in front of his sister.

"Oniichan… " Charlotte asked softly.

"Do you want to talk?" She asked as he patted Jesse's back gently. She didn't know what happened with his brother but it was painful to see him like this. She could see that he cried again as she saw him wiping his face using his arm.

"It's okay if you don't want to." Charlotte said in a gentle voice. At this moment, hearing Charlotte's voice just reminded him of their mother, which was making Jesse cry harder. Somehow he forgot that Charlotte has a very similar voice with her. 

Charlotte was going to leave him, but then Jesse called her in a very soft voice. 

"Charlotte… "

If she wasn't that close, she might not have been able to hear him.

"Yeah?"

His vision started blurry again as a pool of tears formed in his eyes.

"Do you think mom and dad blame me?" Jesse asked with his shaken voice.

"Do you think they hate me for making them die?"

"Is that why I feel like this for my entire life? Is that why I don't deserve to be loved by anyone?"

"Is that why I keep living on this gloomy side?" His voice cracked as tears streamed down again on his cheeks. 

Charlotte never wanted to hear her brother saying things like this. She grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug.

She felt his pain.

She knew he had been hiding it all the time. Acting like he was fine but he wasn't. 

"Don't ever say something like that!!" Charlotte said as she tightened her hug.

"They love you, Oniichan. They love you their entire life. They love you with their hearts."

"And you deserve to be loved. They want you to be happy. They want you to feel love." Charlotte started crying as she felt her brother started sobbing. 

"I don't know what happened to you, but if your love is gone, it doesn't mean that you don't deserve it. It's them who do not deserve you." Charlotte tightened her hugs as pain stabbed her heart. She had never seen her brother breaking down like this. She felt like it was all his feelings that he had been hiding for years.

At that time, she finally realized that her brother was already vulnerable, and then someone came and touched his heart and broke it. 

Charlotte realized that his hugs had been loosened. She pushed him slowly and saw that her brother had fallen asleep. She helped him to lay on his bed, pulling the blanket onto his chest before she left him alone.

As she closed the door, she walked towards the kitchen to take her phone and texted someone that could help her.

Juri, were you with my brother?

 

 No, I was at home.

Why did you ask?

 

He just arrived at home, alone.

And cried… 

Do you know what happened?

 

WHAT?! 

IS HE OKAY?!

Charlotte let out a sigh before she replied again.

He is not.

But he's sleeping now.

Do you know what happened to him?

…Did he just break up?

 

Did you know about that?

 

About what?

 

… I guess he hasn't told you.

It's a long story…

 

I have the whole night.

Tell me everything!

Charlotte felt like she knew about this person, but she wasn't sure whether she was right or not. She needed to hear it first. If she couldn't ask her brother, she would come to interrogate Juri. She would force him to tell her everything he knows.

***

"La Vie En Rose… "

"A world where the flowers bloom… "

Charlotte was standing alone as she read the board sign in front of it. She took a deep breath before stepping into the shop.

As she stepped in, she was welcomed by the scents of flowers around her. Indeed, this shop was as beautiful as the name. She felt satisfied just by seeing them. As she walked around the shop to see those beautiful flowers, she spotted a flower that looked similar to the flower that she had seen in his brother's house.

"So he really brought them here… " Charlotte mumbled to herself. She was going to see it closer, but someone had tapped her shoulder.

She was speechless as she saw how handsome the man was. He was wearing a sweater in cream color with long pants. He has a small face with big eyes and small lips. He was smiling softly at her.

Welcome to La Vie En Rose

Is there anything I can help you with?